subject: I Want My Ex Back – 3 golden rules for success [print this page] Rule number 1: Rule number 1:
This breakup has not happened for no reason; find the reason. You're goal is not to get your ex back for the short term, they are the love of your life, you're goal is to get them back and keep them. There is a saying if you keep doing the same thing, you'll keep getting the same result'. To have a lasting happy relationship with your ex, you need to establish what you did, or did not do that contributed to their decision. Use this new found knowledge to empathise with your ex, and create a solution focused mindset.
Rule number 2:
Don't harass your ex. And yes that phone call just to say hi, or just to tell them how hurt you are and how much you are missing them, is harassment. Those alcohol fuelled calls at 3am, are also harassment. As are the text messages, emails, skype messages, facebook messages etc etc. Don't arrange to accidently' be where you know they will be. If they are not answering your calls, they need their space. Respect this or wish pushing them even further away.
Have you heard the saying absence makes the heart grow founder'. Apply some self control and patience, leave it a few weeks before attempting to initiate contact, give them the space to miss you.
Rule number 3:
Take the time to plan your approach about rekindling the flame. You know you're ex well, you know what they like and what will touch their heart strings. Think about the location, the timing and what you'll say. You want them to know that you want to be with them, without coming across desperate to have them. As tempting as it may be refrain from telling them things like I cannot live without you' or my life is over now', you don't just want them back out of pity
