subject: Come to the right marriage counselor himself- The Lord! [print this page] Finding Him is very simple! By coming to Him in simple prayer, and by listening to Him through His word, the Bible. Many husbands and wives feel very strange about getting on their knees together to talk with the Lord Jesus. They have never done it, and they are embarrassed, But why be embarrassed to do the simplest thing that the Lord says to do, "Ask and ye shall receive"? Perhaps the trouble is that we are ashamed to ask Him for anything because we know we have dishonored Him so much. But this is false pride based on the heathen idea of salvation by works. It is the idea that you have to bring some offering with you to make the Lord feel good towards you, to earn His favor.
No, that is not the way to come. Don't try to come in your own merits, Come just as you are, weak, sinful, polluted, unworthy, and depend only on the merits of Christ.
Another reason why husbands and wives are often shamed to kneel together to pray is that they have been unfaithful to each other or have wronged each other by fights and quarrels. Satan makes them feel it would be foolish to pray together, or one will despise the other as a hypocrite. But to pray together is just what they need in order to find healing. "But I don't what to say when I pray!" you may object. "There is no prayer in the Prayer Book for husbands and wives to say after they have quarreled." True, there is not; but there are plenty of prayers in the Bible that people who have made mistakes may pray. It is the best Prayer Book that ever was. For example:
God, be merciful to me a sinner (Luke 18:13). Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Thy loving kindness; according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me (Psalm 51:1, 3). Lord be merciful unto me: heal my soul; for I have sinned against thee( 41:4). Unto Thee, Lord, do I lift up my soul. Lead me in Thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on Thee do I wait all the day. Remember not the sins of my youth, not my transgressions: according to Thy mercy remember Thou me for Thy goodness' sake, O Lord. Good and upright is the Lord: therefore will HE teach sinners in the way. Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for He shall pluck my feet out of the net (55:1-15).
It is good for husband and wife to pray together when in trouble, but it is better to pray together daily as a regular habit. Millions of happy families have established what they call the "family alter." It is a time in the early morning or in the evening when they pause from their busy toil to seek the Lord together. When Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, they talked with the Lord every day. Although none of us is in the Garden day! It is a blessing that doesn't cost a cent; but you are cheating yourselves if you don't have a family alter in your home. If someone does you a favor, you say, "thank you!" Being thankful is the reason for having a "family altar" in your home. You tell the Lord, "Thank you!"
A family alter is as simple as this; you connect your home with the power-house of heaven. You also have a telephone line to God's throne. Private, personal prayer is good, but let the family as a unit kneel before the Lord daily and ask for His care. Your family prayer will get through faster than any telephone call could go to a doctor or marriage counselor!
"But we are not Christians, that is, we are not baptized nor are we members of any regular Church!" Does the Lord restrict His rain and sunshine to Church members? Every blessing you enjoy is the direct gift of your heavenly Father, even though none of us deserves anything from His hand. He is your friend already, even though you may not have known it. Don't feel like you have to prove yourself worthy before you can kneel to talk with the Lord. Jesus' oft-repeated message to the common people of His day was that "Your heavenly Father" Cares about you. All you have to do is "come", Just as you are. (Let the Lord lead you to the right church in His own good time and way).
DO you need to have a 'prayer book' and follow a set form of words? No! No angel would dare shut you out from the presence of "your heavenly Father" because you didn't use the right form of words. A good foundation-prayer is always the "Lord's prayer" found in Matthew 6:9-13. Little by little you can add your own words to express your individual thoughts. Let the children hear you pray out Loud; pray for them, and ask the Lord to give you wisdom as parents. Introduce the children to their heavenly Father.
A man once told a story of some wild monkeys near his house. If they are very hungry, only one of them is courageous enough to come up to him and take from his hand some bananas that he offers to them. All the rest want it but look at him in fear, not daring to "come". They remain hungry! Let us be timid about coming to the Lord-that is how most of us behave, just like the monkeys.
We have a high priest, touched with the feeling of our affirmities. In all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the Throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:15, 16).
But suppose your spouse won't kneel down and pray with you, even if you are willing? Be very careful now-don't make a mistake!
- Firstly, don't assume that he/she is hopelessly lost. Be patient- the Lord will work in his or her heart. Don't get in the Lord's way. Don't drive him or her farther away from the Lord by reproach or faultfinding. Sometimes a person's heart as well as the body becomes "sick"- healing can come.
- Also, go ahead and have the family alter by yourself for the present. You can speak to the Lord on behalf of the family even if you are alone. "Pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy father which sees in secret shall reward thee openly" (Matthew 6:6).
Come to the right marriage counselor himself- The Lord!
