subject: How To Apoligize To Your Ex [print this page] How important is an apology in the magic of making up? Well, it's just about the most important aspect of making up with your ex yet many spurned lovers completely get it wrong when apologizing.
Simply saying sorry is not enough and will get you booted even further away. A bad apology is showing a lack of respect. What do we mean by this?
Knowing how to give a good apology starts with knowing what makes a BAD apology. Often people don't give a whole lot of thought into exactly what we're going to say when we apologize. What comes out usually doesn't make your ex feel any better and can ignite into another argument.
The first thing you have to remember when making an apology to your ex is NOT to do it if you don't mean it.Your ex is not a robot and would most likely know if you are just saying it for the heck of it; it will just aggravate the situation.
The idea is to know exactly why you are apologizing. To be effective the apology must have two goals. Number one is to explain why you are sorry. The second is explaining your plan to make sure that it never happens again. Just saying "I'm sorry" will not get the job done!
Never say "but" - This word is used when you want to put part of the blame on someone else. Your whole apology will be worthless if you say it and it will undo any good your apology has done up to that point.
Be careful not to make high promises though. There's nothing more damaging for a healing relationship than another broken promises. Again be realistic about what you're saying. For instance, you can promise to be less jealous and be more supportive of her but you cannot promise her a relationship without conflict. Being grounded about your promises sends a message of seriousness and genuineness in your apology. Another tip on how to apologize peacefully is to focus on the issue always. Avoid pointing fingers at each other and understand the fact that a hurting heart can say hurtful things. So be more tolerant and forbearing when your partner will be calling you names.
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There's a simple way to remember all this as well as a way to make sure your apology will give you the best chance of being forgiven.
