subject: Saving Your Marriage Post Affair [print this page] Saving your marriage after a break up requires a good amount of introspection on both parties. While each couple is different and will have different issues they are focusing on, the following are some of the most common areas where married couples could use some direction. Chances are that no one issue alone will cause a break up, but this overview strives to address some of the reasons why and how repair the damage they cause.
Disagreement is healthy. Arguments happen, but not every occasion where you do not see eye to eye needs one. Sometimes you will get your way and sometimes you will not. The best outcome is compromise but if you find your only out is to give in, do so consciously with an understanding of why your spouse thinks this is the better option. Some things are worth arguing over and talking through, such as deciding where to live. Other things, like what color place mats to get for the dining room table, are not worth the hassle. Know when to lead and when to be lead.
Keeping your sense of humor is crucial as well. Life keeps us busy enough to not realize how insignificant many things truly are. Learn to laugh at the mistakes your spouse makes and your own in a way that is not critical, but appreciative. You are living with a being you have no control over. When you understand their strengths and weaknesses, you know what to expect can learn to compromise accordingly.
Know that you do not need to carry all the weight in the relationship. Let your partner know what is on your mind without being accusatory. Keeping things inside leads to miscommunication and ultimately, unhappiness.
Sex is a very important aspect of a romantic relationship and many couples do not have it often enough. Not only is it a way to share intimate moments, demonstrate affection and desire but it is also a way to keep a romance alive. A couples sexuality goes beyond the bedroom. Flirtation, humor, laughter--the things that drew you in the first place must be nurtured. Do not take each other for granted.
Most of all you must trust that the other person loves you. Aim to love them the way you wish to be loved: with respect, trust and support. Talk your problems out honestly, patiently and with compromise in mind.
