subject: How do I Add Intimacy to My Marriage After Cheating on Your Husband? [print this page]
Cheating takes a toll on marriages in many ways. One of the areas hardest hit by cheating is the area of intimacy. Of course the word "intimacy" covers a lot of territory and has many possible meanings. Unfortunately, all possible meanings take a hard hit when cheating happens but in this case, physical intimacy is the topic of discussion.
Getting Comfortable Again
One thing about cheating on your husband is that it's not just cheating. For many men this is hitting below the belt. For many men, the ego and self-esteem have close ties. When you cheat, you're giving both of them a pounding and leaving no hands available to block. It's going to take a little while before he feels comfortable enough to get physical again.
Despite the common misconception not all men are machines when it comes to sex. You'll usually either experience one or two things from your husband after he finds out. He'll either want to dive right back into the physical aspect of the relationship in an almost violent manner (sort of marking his territory) or he'll back off and really not seem interested in physical intimacy. He may even shoot down advances you make.
It's important to roll with the punches to a point. You'll eventually have to find your line in the sand and make a statement to your husband whichever end of the physical intimacy spectrum he happens to end up on. Give him time to get comfortable with you and the changes in your relationship before you expect him to be ready to take this particular aspect of the relationship for the next step.
Ask Him What he Needs from You
This might throw him off for a bit but it gives him an opening to get the conversation started. He may not even know exactly what he needs from you to get the ball rolling but he knows that something is wrong. Perhaps it's something the two of you can work on together if you're both willing.
But, you will never know if it is even something you can work on together if you never open up and talk about it. Sometimes it really is as simple as asking the right question at the right time.
When it comes to saving your marriage it's probably safe to say it's worth the price of asking a question even if you're not sure where that question is going to take you.
How do I Add Intimacy to My Marriage After Cheating on Your Husband?
