subject: Don't Forgive - At Your OWN Peril! [print this page] I wrote an earlier post called "Forgive or Not To Forgive?" which resulted in mixed reactions. Some thought it is almost impossible to forgive, especially if the person has hurt you really bad.
Agreed!
But...
If you don't forgive, what happens?
You keep thinking:
'I wish she hadn't done it.'
'She was such a good friend, HOW could she even THINK of doing it!' (But she did, right?)
'I trusted him with my life, and see what he did! I will NEVER forgive him.'
'She ruined everything I had, how could I ever forgive her!'
You can add as many thoughts/statements as you want here... I am sure you have better reasons than the ones I mentioned above not to forgive someone...
Agreed!
So, now you have someone you deeply loved/respected/cared for etc... And he/she has hurt you badly.
Now what?
Even if you don't forgive, does it matter to him/her?
Some of them don't even know they have hurt you!
Do they care?
Apparently not.
(Only some of them may have come to you asking for forgiveness and you were KIND enough to forgive... But DIDN'T....Or did, but DIDNT forget!)
And yet, YOU are THINKING about the other person, WASTING your time/feelings/emotions/thoughts on someone who is not worth thinking about! And in the process, you can not concentrate on your own priorities. Your life. What IS working well for you. Happy things. Good friends. Family. (Your boss! Lol!)
Instead, you keep thinking why she did it. What made her do that. How could I get even. Or simply: I will never forgive you.
All of the above only bogs you down. Your mind, instead of paying attention to the good things happening in your life, makes you think ONLY about this person and you FEEL that you have the worst life in this world. And that ALL your friends/family/relatives have ALWAYS done this to you. And you can trust NO ONE.... etc.
I think you understand where I am coming from, right?
Another way to understand this:
Imagine, you are in a race (isn't life a race to most of us?), and you want to win it (you bet!). But there is only one addition: Only YOU are carrying someone on your back and trying to run as fast as you can to win the race.
And lo and behold, YOU WIN THE RACE! Applause.....!
No?
You didn't?
Couldn't?
Why?
Oh.. you can't win that race if you have to carry someone around while the others are sprinting on their own...!
My point exactly!
You can't be free WITHOUT forgiving someone. It is in your own interest to forgive and forget.
