subject: Trash Talk [print this page] Keep from trashing your spouse. Keep from trashing your spouse.
Trashingyour spouse to someone damages your marriage in several ways and it generates harm. Let's take a look at how trash talk can trash our marriage.
What we feed grows. Trash talkreinforces the negatives in your mind making you feel worse about your spouse and marriage. The more you talk, the worse you feel about your spouse.
It alters memories. Research shows that the more a marriage spirals down, the more we select bad memories. Eventually, bad memories dominate and reinforce the idea our marriage is doomed.
It adds agreement to yourthoughts. Powerof agreement is strong and telling someone about your spouse's bad points causes thatpersonto agree with you.
It makes a new enemy for your spouse exposing him/herto more criticism.
It sows adestiny. Thoughtsbecomewords,wordsbecomeactions that createdestiny.
You no longer protect your marriage, you open it to criticism.
Youreinforcefaith that your marriage will crash.
Finally,you lose respect in the eyes of others.
Talking negatively is easy to do and stopping it takes effort, but the payback is a good one. Think on positive qualities of your spouseandmention those to others. If you need help it is fine to say, "Ourmarriageneeds work," but you need notcriticizeyour spouse. Get help from someone capable. If you must talk to a friend tovent, be general, but refrain from dissing your spouse. We would love to hear your comments and marriage tips. What works for you? Write us.
