subject: The Power of Words and What To Do About Them [print this page] 'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help. '
Ronald Reagan, US President
What's themost powerfulthing anyone ever said to you? Was it the start of something in your life, or was it like being hit by a truck? How have those words walked with you ever since?
We are surrounded by so much language these days. Whether it be our mobile phone, text messages, Facebook, email, TV, iPod, land line or plain old coffee with a friend. Words, for better or worse are everywhere. So how much power do they have over us? The thing is, you remember the really good ones, and the really awful ones. They can be as inspirational as an Olympic Gold Medal and as devastating as a hurricane.
So what do we do with them and, more importantly with their legacy? To make things easier, I think there are 3 categories. Here they arewith some examples, although I'm sure you can think of your own!
1. Unkind, completely unhelpful (sometimes to the point of cruelty) words said by those who profess to love us.
'You'll never amount to anything...nothing ever goes right for you does it?...why did you make such a mess of...you never were the brightest/prettiest/most popularkid were you?...why can't you be more like [insert name]...what an idiot...no surprises there then...you'll always be [insert negative word here]...'
2. Things that people say that have a grain of truth, sometimes delivered without much thought
'I think you would do better if...what if you tried...that's just not going to work out...you could have been more...how could you...'
3. Encouraging things that people say about us that we do not believe, or dismiss with an 'no I'm not'.
'You are really good at...you have so much talent for...you look really good...you really helped with...you have such a great...no one could have done that better...you made a real difference...'
Here's a suggestion. The words we carry around in our head from Category 1 will never makes us a better, more peaceful, happier person. Let us choose to walk away from the power they have over usand refuse to be defined by them. We probably know which, perhaps thoughtlessly delivered but nevertheless honest, words fromCategory 2 we could actually do something about. And as for Category 3...
Why go around beating ourselves up all the time? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Each of us is gifted, each of us brings infinite meaning to the lives of others, each of us has beauty and worth. Each of us is uniquely and infinitely loved by the One who created us to be, us!
So go ahead, be kind to yourself. Yes, it's good to have goals and to want to do or be better, but not at the expense of having peace with yourself. There's no point in setting the bar so high we will never reach it. The next time someone says something good to you. Why notenjoy the compliment? You may find it warms your day.
'My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth...And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.' Ephesians 3 v14-19, The Message
