subject: Coping With A Difficult College Roommate [print this page] If you decide to live in student housing as you attend college, chances are you may end up with a roommate with whom you don't see eye-to-eye. You may be bunking with a person whose political or religious views are dramatically different than yours, or who just isn't very friendly. Here's some advice to help you deal with a difficult college roommate.
1. Reach out with a friendly overture. It could be that your roommate is actually just shy, and may be waiting for you to start a conversation first. Make an effort to connect with this person, because doing so can make it easier to live with them. Even if they don't respond positively, you know that you gave it your best effort, and you can simply go about your business.
2. If your roommate seems to want to start an argument with you, the first rule of order is not to engage. There is no way to have conflict unless both parties agree to escalate tensions. He may be someone who likes to press other peoples' buttons just to get a rise out of them, so keep this in mind and stay cool, calm and collected.
3. If it seems your housemate is hell-bent on arguing with you, the best thing you can do is to walk away. Sometimes people develop a taste for constant drama, and your roommate may simply be used to drama in his life. It's up to you to set the boundaries in your room and in your life, so do the smart thing and leave the area.
4. As easy as it is to say, try not to take it personally when your roommate is in a foul mood. There may something on his mind that he wants to take out on the world, so block it out if you can. Chances are that his mood will pass quickly, and you can just continue on with your business.
5. Try to walk a mile in his shoes. Although he may not discuss it, perhaps he had a troubled childhood, or had to deal with illness or loss. You never know what comprises a person's soul, so try to be kind and even-tempered. A little bit of hospitality can often work wonders, so try to reach out if you can.
All it takes to deal with an unpleasant roomie is a plan of action that includes knowing when to walk away and when to reach out. It's possible to find a way to get along, but both parties have to make some effort toward that end. Keep in mind that it you find the tension unbearable, you've always got the option of finding another roommate.
