subject: The Importance Of Knowing Your Needs And Values Before Entering Your Next Relationship. [print this page] Your values are your gold that you will be sharing with your next partner, something he or she will respect and honor you for. Your needs on the other hand are something for you to be aware of to make sure you don't depend on your next partner for. Plus, it will help to know what your needs are so you can pick your next partner who can meet them.
Each relationship in your past, regardless of how long it lasted or how long ago it ended has carried a deep meaning into your life. Even if it was a relationship with an unavailable person, even if that person was so unavailable to you that they didn't even know you existed. When you were emotionally involved with him or her, even if it was a relationship you had in your head, you felt some deep needs. The reason why you were so hooked on him or her is because this person was meeting at least one of your needs, but meeting it so well, it almost made you forget about the other needs of yours.
When you think about someone so much to the point where your brain start producing some chemicals that completely alter your state of mind, you have tendency to ignore the reality. So you forget about your other needs and start believing that all your needs a being met for the time being. This state of euphoria does not last though - it cannot. Eventually it wears off, and when that happens, you become fully aware of what you're missing. You start feeling the yearnings and the longings. Those are the indications of unmet needs. Since our mind remembers the euphoria so well, it tricks us to believe that this person we are currently "in love" with is capable of satisfying and fixing the yearnings and the longings. So we go back and go through the same cycle over and over again, meanwhile the euphoria state is getting smaller with each cycle and the pain is getting bigger and more unbearable. Eventually, when we have enough, we may get the courage to leave.
The only way to grow personal power and become independent of this as well as to change your mindset and be able to experience healthy relationship lies through knowledge and self-awareness about your needs. In other words, you have to be fully aware of your needs before you can have a healthy relationship with anyone.
