subject: The Life Of A Mother In Mexico [print this page] In Mexico, when it comes time to marry, most men have been found to want a woman who is exactly like their mother. Why do you think this is the case, more so in this country than any other?
If you were to question Mexican men about their mothers, you would often hear them describe their mother as a saint. This adoring love for one's mother isn't just the prerogative of men.
Women in Mexico also often say that the most important person in their life is their mother. In Mexico, being a mother is the primary goal for all females, and carries a very high status, right next to the priesthood.
Children rarely argue with their mothers, and mothers rarely discipline their children. You are probably wondering how this is possible.
The primary and most important relationship in the village of San Juan is between mother and child. Interestingly enough, although it is characterized by a closeness that isn't found in any other relationship, by contrast there is a lack of physical interaction.
From the time a child is born, it is held very little by its mother, usually only to be nursed or played with. One reason is that customarily that is the role of the young girls, the aunts, and grandmothers.
They, rather than the mother, have the responsibility of quieting the baby when it is fussy. It is customary for the baby to sleep with her and they will be wrapped up together in a blanket.
But as soon as a child is beyond nursing, it may still sleep with its mother, but wrapped in its own blanket. Though there is the opportunity for physical contact in the task of bathing children, mothers bathe only their infants.
From about one year of age to six, the child is bathed by an older sibling. So, from birth, the baby's contact with its mother is always positive, comforting, to be fed, held, played with and cuddled asleep.
The mothers of San Juan are not disciplinarians. They may reprimand a very young child, but as often as not the child is corrected by someone else.
Mothers almost never yell at their children, and rarely does she use physical discipline. Women there they say that it is improper to spank a child, and if one spanks her child in anger, she must go to confession.
Like bathing and entertaining, discipline is carried out by another member of the family and punishment most often falls to the father. Just as they don't use physical discipline, mothers rarely show physical affection, except in a formal manner.
Rather than kissing her children goodbye if she were going somewhere, she is more likely to bless the child, or the child will kiss its mother on the cheek or hand. An older son will show physical affection in brusquely hugging and kissing his mother on the cheek, or standing with his arm around her.
She accepts this with an air of formality. She doesn't return the affection, but dearly appreciates it. Perhaps the most important sign of her love is in the giving of food.
Although the mother will cook three meals a day, food is offered whenever it is ready and children are allowed to eat as much as they want until the supply runs out. Little babies are breast-fed whenever they appear to be hungry.
Often they will be fed just to quiet them. A baby is never left to cry.
Money is like food. It is freely given, and freely spent. During the day, a child will ask his mother for money and if she can, she will give even a little toddler a peso to buy dulces.
Mothers tend not to praise their children, but they do spend a good deal of time talking about them or praising them to others in their presence. At the same time, it's almost impossible to get a mother to relate a negative instance about her child.
They always speak of them with pride. She is the one who throughout their life comforts and feeds them, never disciplines or denies them.
From her, they receive only uncompromising love, while all the adversity in life is associated with others. The societal structure insures that there will be a minimal amount of conflict between mothers and children, so this relationship is held with very little ambivalence.
This engenders an unusually close, lifetime mother/child relationship. Perhaps we can all take a note from the lives of these strong Mexican women.
