subject: 21 Stone And Invisible [print this page] I saw a new client yesterdayI saw a new client yesterday. She was 21 stone. Through floods of tears she told me that she was sick of "being invisible".
To anyone who hasn't suffered from being overweight, this might sound like a ridiculous statement. How can a woman who weighs over 21 stone feel invisible and why would it matter? Surely she'd be pleased to be invisible, pleased that people weren't staring at her or maybe even making horrid comments?
The irony is that she also believes that people are staring at her and that they are making horrid comments. She feels incredibly self-conscious the whole time.
So what does she mean by feeling invisible?
What she means is that no-one sees her. No-one sees the true person hidden inside this protective barrier. No-one even attempts to see past the weight, past the "fat" person, past the woman who allowed herself to get into "that state." Everyone judges her for the way she looks on the outside; no-one bothers to look for the person on the inside.
Of course this isn't true. Not everyone judges her in this way; although from my experience, a great many probably do. Despite the fact that we are the second most obese nation in the Western world, we are a surprisingly 'fattist' society. Many of my friends - well-educated, well-read, supposedly well-meaning individuals - routinely judge overweight people and make negative comments in front of me, despite knowing what I do for a living!
21 Stone And Gorgeous!
The fact of the matter is that this girl is gorgeous. She's pretty, kind, caring, empathic, loyal, fun and intelligent; and she's desperately trying to lose weight.
So, if you notice a seriously overweight person in the street today, please look beneath the surface, beyond the protective shell they've created for themselves and see the real person underneath. Hey - you could even smile and say hello!
