subject: More Self-confidence? Don't Leave Your Comfort Zone - Just Make It Bigger! [print this page] Advice can be scaryAdvice can be scary. We hear the call 'Get out of your comfort zone' and know it's supposed to be helpful. Yet it sounds more like 'Make yourself deliberately uncomfortable because it's good for you'!
It's unlikely that many people will follow this advice because it's about as encouraging as 'Take a cold shower' or 'Eat up your greens'. It may be attractive to masochists but not the rest of us.
The advice to get out of your comfort zone usually comes with good intentions. It's meant as a challenge to complacency. But if it is so unappealing you won't follow it and you'll miss any possible benefit. So here's an alternative way forward.
Instead of getting out of your comfort zone, how about making your comfort zone bigger? This means that you become comfortable with more things - a bigger range of experiences.
Here's what I'm getting at. Suppose you were going for a swim in the sea. Around the UK the sea is pretty cold - about 16 degrees Celsius - hardly a warm bath! There are two choices: to jump straight in or to wade in gradually.
Potential jumpers have to weigh up whether to jump - it's all or nothing. Some may go ahead but many will not 'take the plunge' and never get to swim at all.
Waders get a chance to 'test the water' - ankle deep to start with. Once they are comfortable with this, they move further in. The water comes to their knees. Again they can acclimatize and move forward. If you've done this you'll know that a critical stage is when it comes up to your waist. It can take a bit longer to become comfortable before going shoulders under.
More of the people who actually get to swim use the wading method. A period of observation on any beach will confirm this. Their success is because they enlarged their comfort zone by stages.
So how does this apply to your own particular challenges?
Well, if you are happy jumping in, go ahead. But if, like many of us, you find yourself frozen on the edge by the intimidating prospect of jumping, you can take it in stages like the waders. (If you have a coach, you might like to explore these stages in your next session).
What is the first step you can take? The size of the step is not important - what is important is that you take the step. The once you are comfortable with that, you can take the next, and so on.
As you become comfortable with a wider range of experiences, you'll find your self-confidence has grown along with your comfort zone.
