subject: Voice of the Lord [print this page] An excerpt from my book 'The JourneyHome' - Autobiography of an American Swamihttp://www.thejourneyhomebook.com For reviews on this book, visithttp://www.radhanath.com.
Weeks of contemplation passed in this way. By now, my prayers and meditations had kindled the spark of my spiritual craving into a blazing fire. From that lonely mountaintop, I witnessed everything in my life evaporating into that fire. It felt like I was being consumed by my yearning for God like one possessed.
But fate was leading me to a crossroads. One road would allow me to remaining the person I thought I was, an American boy from a particular family, expected to go to college and get a degree, who had joined the counterculture. Another road would lead me into a realm where everything had to change.
I was afraid. I knew I was making a choice that would completely change my life, but nothing could stop me. I didn't know where destiny was leading me, but I knew that if I were to move forward in my journey, I would find a whole new life, with a whole new identity. I had to leave everything else behind.
The day was ending, the soft red orb of the sun dropping into the mouth of the sea. It cast a veil of golden light over the waves, which swayed and danced to its touch. The mountains of the coast radiated gold. The dome of sky above me glowed pink, tangerine, and lilac. And then, from my heart, a sweet but commanding voice called, "Go to India."
Why India? I thought. It's another world, so far away. I know so little about it. I had next to no money and little idea of what to expect, but I believed this was the voice of my Lord calling for me. At other times I had felt the presence of God, or felt guilt that I had behaved in ways to separate myself from God. But this was different. This was a silent voice that resonated from my heart. I was convinced that it wasn't my voice or my mind. No, this was God, answering my prayers for direction.
