subject: Bereavement: Coping With Loss And Grief [print this page] After a loved one has passed on the grief we feel is painful and difficult to cope with. Often people express a belief that they will never be able to feel joy again and that this acute mourning will never lift. Try to take comfort in the knowledge that this is not the case and this stage of your grief will come to an end. There is no proper way to grieve and it is vital that in bereavement coping you feel free to express your loss in whatever way is healthy for you. Everyone reacts to loss in a different way and this is perfectly normal.
Grieving is a very personalized experience and there is no specific timetable on how long it will last in your life. It takes time and will occur gradually. There will be days in the beginning where you will think about your loved one almost all of the time. Eventually this will no longer be the case and you will be able to focus on other things for longer periods without being consumed with thoughts of your loss. While a friend may have gotten over her grief in a matter of weeks or months, yours could be a longer process and last years.
It is important to remember that trying to avoid your grief will only draw out the process. Ignoring your feelings will not make them disappear but will in fact make the grieving process more drawn out. Taking steps in bereavement coping is essential to a healthy healing process. One thing to remember is that crying does not make you weak. However, if you do not cry, it does not mean that you are not grieving either. Often when we lose a loved one we cry, however it should be noted that there are many different ways in which you may express your grief. Those who do not cry during the death of a loved one are not insensitive or unloving, they simply have other ways of expressing their grief.
Bereavement coping is different for everyone and may include the five well documented stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Know that you may experience any or all of these steps and that is normal. They may not come in the order that is documented and that is fine also. It is also true you may cope with your grieving process without going through any of these stages. It is a very individualized process and is not the same for everyone.
Grief can sometimes be described as a roller coaster ride. It is rougher and harder at the very beginning. There will inevitably be high and low points in your mourning. Sometimes these lows will last longer and be more intense than others. The hard times will grow less difficult to manage as the "ride" goes on and in the end, you will have slow smoother ride into the station. Lean on your friends and family for support during these painful time and, when necessary, look to them for mutual support. If you are religious, turn to your faith to help you in coping with your loss. If you need extra help, join a support group. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you are grieving. Eat, sleep and exercise to keep your body strong.
