subject: 3 Things You can do to Save Your Marriage After Cheating [print this page] It's hard knowing the right thing you can do to save your marriage after cheating. There isn't a one size fits all rule book to follow and it's not really something people discuss over dinner in restaurants. You won't get play by play breakdowns that show examples of what to and not to do in this situation. The bottom line is that no one is really comfortable discussing methods of saving a marriage after cheating.
There is this mentality that discussing ways to get your spouse back after you've cheated would somehow give permission to cheat or condone the act. That isn't the case at all.
People make mistakes. Good people sometimes do the wrong thing. You don't have to condone it, give permission for it to happen, or even tacitly approve (or disapprove for that matter) in order to provide reliable instruction that will help you work to undo some of the damage that is done by cheating.
Here are three things you can do to save your marriage after cheating. Get started on these things right away for the best possible outcome.
1) Apologize. This can't be stressed enough. You need to make an apology that is sincere, appropriate, and specific. Don't offer details or excuses and keep it brief. The more believable your apology is the better it will be received. If you're worried that you'll mess it up somehow, fail to mention something you know you should, or get caught up in the emotion and forget what you're trying to do, consider putting it in writing. That way you know you can say what's on your heart and mind without leaving out an important point.
2) Keep Your Cool. Too many people lose it at a time like this and say all kinds of things they don't mean. Don't let that happen to you. Maintain your calm and watch your words carefully so that you don't say things that you can never take back. Do this in all fights in the future to avoid bigger problems down the road.
3) Learn to Fight Fair. The one problem that most couples today have is that they never learn to fight fair. Fights are common in marriages. Some might even say they are completely necessary. The difference is that fights in marriages should be about getting results and not about winning. We live in a society that is increasingly competitive. We sometimes forget when we are in the comfort of our home with the people we love that we are on the same team.
3 Things You can do to Save Your Marriage After Cheating
