subject: Taking Measures To Avoid Divorce [print this page] Divorce is all too common todayDivorce is all too common today. The rise in demand for family law practitioners has increased dramatically in the past few decades.
Today, many people are suffering the side effects of divorce and are seeking ways to avoid the expense of a hiring a lawyer to complete a divorce. They are also seeking the love and happiness of when they first began courting.
There are thousands of ways to cause damage to your marriage, but there are several ways to help heal your marriage as well. The number one mistake of the couples who try to fix their marriage and fail is that they take a passive approach instead of a service approach by simply trying to get the other person to understand and feel sympathetic of them.
This is the most common, natural reaction to a failing marriage, but it is also a contributing factor to the death of a marriage. It is important for a spouse to realize that even if he or she is the only one willing to put in the effort to save the marriage, he or she can save it.
Remember that nothing is set in stone until you give up. When you give up, your marriage will be over.
Divorce is often a result of hurt feelings on both sides. In order to put the necessary effort into saving your marriage, you must heal these wounds in yourself.
The first thing you need to do is become motivated. Find passion for life and going and doing things.
Stop worrying about your marriage for a few hours every day. The stress and weight of a pending doom such as this will drag you down and make you unable to heal and work to fix your marriage.
As you stop stressing about your marriage for a few hours a day, you will feel a renewed energy and you will be able to obtain a healthier perspective on your marriage. When you are motivated, you will begin doing something about your marriage.
Laying down and giving up never saved a marriage. You have to put in effort and work hard to save your marriage.
When you have found motivation to save your marriage, begin considering the problems. Do not immediately jump into a stream of thought that "he does this..." or "she does this...."
Think about what you have been doing wrong first. Work on these problems before you think about what your spouse has done wrong.
You may find that most of the problems with your marriage are rooted in blaming one another. The solution is to start working on the things you have been doing wrong.
As you begin working on your own issues, there is probably one thing that is a major issue between you and your spouse. Focus on resolving this issue instead of the little issues that pop up around it.
Some battles are worth fighting for and others are not. Choose to fight only the most critical battles and let the other ones go.
All too often couples get distracted by the smaller issues instead of resolving the main issue. You will find that the smaller issues are not so much of an issue when the larger one is resolved.
Work on one thing at a time. Taking everything on all at once is often too big of a task and will put too much of a strain on your marriage.
As you work on the issue, be sure the listen thoroughly to your spouse. This will take practice and hard work.
The definition of listening is not waiting until your spouse stops talking to respond to what he or she says. It is considering what they have to say and being willing to say "you are right."
By listening, you will be able to define and address the real issues instead of the surrounding ones. This is critical to resolving disputes in your marriage.
The best listeners have practiced often and frequently. These people are often the best communicators as well.
As you begin listening to your spouse, you may come up with some other approaches to how you can address your concerns. This is very important because the methods that you have been pursuing have not necessarily been working.
"I" statements are by far more effective than "you" statements when you are addressing problems. Make sure that you address problems before you get too anxious and angry about them.
By pursuing some of these tips, you will be able to avoid the necessity of paying for a family lawyer. You will save a lot of money and you will become much happier.
