subject: 3 Simple Ways to Deal With Conflict [print this page] 1. Meditate. Meditation doesn't have to be something you do in a special location at a certain time of day. You don't need a mantra or a set of beads. The fact is, you can meditate anytime and anywhere. You can even meditate standing up. The essential core of meditation is breathing and awareness of one's breath. When we are in conflict with someone, anger usually arises. This makes it hard to concentrate on a breathing technique, but you should become aware of your breathing. You don't have to breathe in any special way; just become aware of your breath. This should give you a bit of space from the raw emotions and allow you to gain some control.
2. Reflect--don't react. When we are angry we often have thoughts of how to retaliate against someone or force someone's hand in order to get our way. However, situations of conflict are rarely one-sided and frequently consist of wants and needs that can be solved by compromise. Think to yourself, "Is it really necessary for me to be angry? Is it possible that there might be another way out of this problem?" Frequently options will present themselves when you consider their possibilities. Ways out cause anger to dissipate; the end of anger is relief and gratitude.
3. ID the prolem and take action. Whether conflict is between a couple, a boss, or a clerk at a store, the basic approach to solving the conflict is the same. First, even if someone is angry, it is easy to identify the 'problem' (what you are angry at, i.e., "I want service now but the clerk is ignoring me."), and from there ask yourself, "Well, is there anything I can do to change the situation?" Usually, there is something you can do or say to change the situation, and if the situation changes the conflict will be resolved. If, for whatever reason, your 'adversary' won't budge, you still have some options. Sometimes just removing yourself from the situation is best.
