subject: 5 Keys to Being a Social Success! [print this page] Believe it or not, the first step to being a great conversationalist has nothing to do with the way you hold a conversation.
The very first step to being a great conversationalist has all to do with you and how you feel about yourself! Yes, I am talking about self confidence. Why else do you think that the inability to be social is accompanied so closely with feelings of fear?!
The problem with a lot of social training out there is that you will end up being taught 'tips and tricks' on being social and fitting in but these are just short term solutions to a long term problem! Kinda like trying to fix a leak on a dam by duck-taping the crack. It may hold for a while but sooner or later you are gonna need to do some Serious repairs! Think about it!
Have you ever noticed those people who appear to be friend with everyone and appear to get along with everyone but you can see that they live for social acceptance? And when they encounter situations where people ends up disliking them they take it very badly and sometimes even fall into depression because they 'friends do not like them'! Well guess what, that is because to them what other people think of them is more important than anything else in the whole-wide world!
This is the mindset of the insecure, the thought process of those who lack high self esteem! A true sign of high self esteem is the ability to move on quickly and not letting other people influence your personal opinion of yourself or your moods, always remember that!
Maybe this is the way you think, but relax as it is not your fault:) No one ever taught you how to improve your social skills the right way. Which is by first taking you through the #1 and most important step: gaining self confidence! But you may be wondering just why that is so important! Well the answer is found by examining the benefits of gaining self confidence first:
1. SELF DEPENDENCE
You really do not want to become one those people who live for social acceptance! Social acceptance will become your all and everything! Not only becoming your source of confidence but also your purpose! How much better is it to be confident regardless of what others think of you?! Therefore gaining high self esteem from the start frees you from any dependence that many get towards social tips and tricks! You will be able to be a confident guy regardless of your social status!
2. NATURAL CHARM
You will attest to the fact that the natural conversationalists have a confident charm about them that all people love! Such charm can never exist if you are fearful, timid and lacking in confidence! Simple, end of story, fact!!! And guess what, that charm has very little to do with what they say, but instead the confident way they carry themselves and react to everyday situations and people.
3. ABILITY TO ATTEMPT AND SUCCEED
When you gain your new found confidence only then will you be able to attempt the many social techniques that I will show you and attempt them boldly!Confidence will very well be the difference between successfully implementing a technique or falling flat on your face!
4. COCKY HUMOR
You cannot be cocky and humorous if you are not confident at the time you attempt cocky humor. You will probably end up being cocky and not very humorous or just humorous like a clown! Cocky humor is an important element to the charm of a great conversationalist and it can never be performed properly without Confidence! Why is that?
Well simply because it requires you to be a bit of a playful ass and yet be unapologetic about what you say, even though it may sometimes be bold and outrageous:D Trust me, sometimes you may say the wrong thing at the wrong time or just say something that is straight up 'corny' but the fact that you have a genuinely pleasant and playful confidence about you, will make you appear humorous and charming in the eyes of women:D
5. LOVE
Until you learn to love yourself, you can never expect to truly love others nor truly be loved! Even the bible say, 'love your neighbor as you love yourself!' Now read that again and notice the words 'as you love yourself!' So how can you love your neighbor if you love not yourself?
High self esteem and self respect equates to self love. And once you truly love yourself you will be able to truly love and respect others, as you will treat others as you expect to be treated! You can now see just how important gaining confident is to properly achieving your social success and building the foundation to becoming a great conversationalist. P.S. Do not jump the gun and try to gain the acceptance from the world before you learn to accept yourself and love yourself!
