subject: Dating Advice - What To Do If You Think It's Going Badly [print this page] What do you do if you think a date is going badly? You probably first have to decide if its going badly because of something youre doing or saying or if its something hes doing or saying.
If its you, you can attempt to rectify things. If youre talking too much you can try to calm yourself down, breath a little, and think of a question to ask your date and then allow him or her to talk without interrupting. If youre looking like youre not interested, look interested. Stop looking past your dates face as he or she talks and make some eye contact. That can be hard if youre a little shy and this is a first date. But just do it! Your date will think youre not interested if you appear to be paying no attention to what theyre saying.
Turn your cell phone off. Youre just being rude if youre answering your phone or texting. Are you starting conversations about controversial topics or topics that are so boring that your date couldnt possibly be interested? Nobody except your best teacher friends want to know about what papers you graded and what your students got on them. No first date wants to hear about your menstrual cramps or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Maybe youre a left wing liberal. Thats all well and good but not on the first date.
In other words, if the first date is going down the tubes and its your fault, try to rein yourself in and turn things around. Now if the date is going badly and its your dates fault, thats another story.
Be a little considerate. If you think hes a little shy you might want to try to draw him or him into conversation about things in which hes interested, once you figure out what those things are. If he starts talking about something thats controversial to you, and you like him well enough to overlook it, change the subject.
Sometimes, though, there isnt much you can do. Some people like to have an "emergency caller." If youre going this route, dont turn your phone off until youre sure youre happy and safe on your date. An emergency caller is someone who will call a half an hour or so after the start of your date. Maybe its your mom, sister or best friend. When you answer the phone you can say something that lets your date know that you have to leave right away. This really isnt the nicest thing to do and should only be used when youre a little afraid of your date because hes odd or threatening or youre so annoyed that you might become odd or threatening!
If the date has just totally gone south, and theres no getting around it, just try to wait it out. When your date calls to ask for another date (should that happen and it might), thank him or her and say that you didnt feel like you had anything in common.
