subject: How Do I Stop Hurting After My Wife Cheated? [print this page] Your wife cheated on you and now you want to take away the pain that has been hurting you since then. Your heart is like surrounded by a dense thunderstorm jolting every inch of the memory of your love. Like Cupid's arrow piercing turned bad. How do I get over this feeling of hurt?
The simplest solution only works if you've decided to move on without your wife. If you fill your heart and mind with other things (and not with thoughts of your marriage or your cheating wife) the pain won't seem nearly as sharp. Eventually, you'll stop feeling the pain altogether. It may take a little bit of time to get to the point where the pain is a distant memory but in those first few days and weeks after you find out about your cheating wife, the more active and involved you stay in other things the less you will hurt.
Of course, if you want to work things out with your wife that isn't the best option to consider. You must focus on your wife and marriage if you are hoping to work things out with your wife and ultimately save your marriage. It isn't the easiest decision to make that will have you doing this but it may very well be one of the most rewarding decisions of your life. If this is the path you choose though, how do you get a little distance from the pain that feels like it might strangle you sometimes?
1)Bring your attention to the positive aspects of your wife. Your mind is toxically filled with the cheating that has happened. Although it's a single event, it spread out virally into your mind. However, thinking the far better things about your wife will act as an antibiotic in combating this misinterpretation. What you can do is to write down a list of more or less ten things you love about your wife whenever you remember the cheating. Do not live in with those kinds of thoughts that will bring negativity in your life. Instead, rediscover the facts that are wonderful enough to understate the mistakes she made in your relationship.
2)Focus on the solution - not the problem. Too many times in life we encounter problems and we spend all of our time thinking about the problems and not nearly enough time working towards the solution. When you're in pain, dwelling on the cause of that pain only prolongs the pain. Instead of dwelling on the problem, get busy working on the solution that the two of you have chosen together.
3)It takes two. The most important thing to keep in mind when trying to move beyond the pain of your cheating wife is that it takes two people working together to move on and make things better. Talk to your wife when the going gets tough and find a solution together.
