subject: How Important The Issue Of Fair Fighting In A Relationship [print this page] In fact, I often overlooked my love relationship, now I realized how important the issues of fair fighting once you are in a relationship. Nothing is more important than how to fight or to express shock. How do you manage conflicts during the entire relationship of love and marriage?
You and your mate will succeed in the event you have the honest purpose to tidy up your relationship, because you can always return and talk later when you are calmer and in a better space.
1. Both partners must receive a full turn. To start say: "OK, let's take turns. You go first and I will listen, and then let you know what I have heard you say. When you are done, it will be my turn to speak." If he says, "I am angry that you leave the counter dirty," say, "What I listen to you saying is that it makes you mad." Then you can ask, "Why does this make you angry? How else does that make you feel?" When you have heard your partner's point of you, it will be your turn to speak about your feelings. Make a honest work to fix upset areas.
2. Try to stand in your partner's shoes and see the world from his/her point of view. Keen to understand does not mean you are "giving in" or being weak. It means your love or marriage relationship comes first. You need to the bottom of the conflict so you can resolve it. Being understood is the number one diffusion process in any conflict. It can prevent years of marriage counseling. You can say, "What I listen to you saying is" Drop your pride and be willing to say that you apologize even in the event you don't think you did anything wrong. Intentions are not always interpreted as they were meant. You say, "I am sorry, I do see the way it could have come across that way." Only then will they be open to listen to your point of view."
3. Offer a heart-felt apology. It doesn't matter that you didn't intend to do anything wrong if the other person in your marriage or love relationship feels offended. You can say, "I am sorry. I do apologize for that. I can see your point of view and picture how that would feel."
4. Do not under any circumstances call names. When you call your love a bitch, bastard, whore, asshole, fool, dull, and so on, you are being abusive. You may win the current battle but your marriage or romance will suffer. Don't be surprised in the event you need marriage counseling or your love relationship suffers.
Keep in mind, both of you have a right to feel the way you do. What counts is being heard and understood. You friendship, love or conjugal relationship can grow, deepen and be a place of safety, love and expansion when you follow these simple rules.
