subject: Relationships - How To Enter Your Man's World [print this page] You will never knock the door down to a man's world, he will see to that. When you enter his world you are saying you care about what he cares about and what is of value to him is of value to you. This kind of openness will deepen your relationship; will deepen his connection to you. Here is a brief review of how to enter his world.
Your motive is not to become one of the guys. Neither is it to have everything in common. Your goal is closeness and connection and learning to use those things you have in common to promote this. Here are three secrets to entering his world. There are more than three, but these are at the top.
1.What are the elements in his world? I am asking, what are his likes and dislikes? What does his world consist of? What does he do for fun? Maybe you know. Maybe you are now on a treasure hunt. But without this, you are guessing.
Equipped with this knowledge, you have a little research ahead of you. If it is golf, learn about it, at least some of its terminology. Or bike riding or Frisbees or sailing or fishing or bowling or cigars or animals or investing or music or dancing or whatever.
Know our motto for two people in a relationship: If he enjoys it then there must be something good in it, so you will look for it. That is not an original idea with me, but I have adopted it as a very cool outlook.
2.Ask to join him. I only say ask because there may be some parts of his world that are off limits. That is not a bad thing so do not be offended. You have some also. Maybe it is guys night out or thursday evening poker.
3.Buy a dog. This is one of the best ideas I have ever come up with. This may very well solve all relational issues. OK, I will release a bit of hot air, but do not miss the point. Start a common interest together. One that has no history with either of you. You get to start at the same time, share it from the beginning, and have the same amount at stake. How does the sound of ours hit you? Now that is in common.
Here is how you buy a dog together. The end result is to create a world together, a well as your own.
Decide inside or out. Will it be an inside dog that shits on the floor and pisses on the chair? Or an outside dog that creates piles of presents for you to step in as you mow the lawn?
Make a list of breeds that both of you could live with. Consider size, sex, color, and breed history. Go to the book store and research.
Find the nearest shelter and rescue a dog, forgetting all of the above. It was for fun. It created togetherness. And who knows, maybe you will find him at the shelter.
Remember, he is a man. That means there is a certain amount of retardation. So you must move slowly. Do not frighten him with sneak attacks. You cannot just show up unannounced. Follow these steps, which are only a few of the big list, and enjoy the journey.
