subject: What If Your Mother Doesn't Like Your Fiancee? [print this page] Often the feelings of excitement that come with an engagement are lessened by a mother's dislike of her child's fiancee. If your mom does not like your fiancee, all hope is not lost. Often feelings can change or develop over time. Someday your fiancee and your mother may share a close relationship. In the interim, do not let this dislike ruin your engagement or lessen your joy as you prepare for your wedding day.
Perhaps when you first introduced your husband to be to your mother, she responded neutrally with blase statements like, "He seems nice" or "It was interesting to meet your boyfriend." Then as time went on and your mother realized that you were serious, perhaps she came right out and confessed that she didn't think that you and your man were right for one another.
The best thing to do in this circumstance is to try and understand your mother. You may disagree and that is fine. Try to pay attention to your mother and understand her feelings. Your mother loves you and only has your best interests at heart (even if in this case she is wrong). Do not fight with your mom about your fiancee. Remember that she is entitled to her opinion, and do not get mad when she offers it to you. Try and focus conversations on other topics while showing your mother love, respect and support. Hopefully she will realize that she will not change your mind and soon abandon the subject.
If your mother doesn't approve of your fiancee, the best thing to do is to listen to her thoughts and feelings and try to appreciate them for what they are. Remind yourself that your mother is trying to do what she feels is in your best interest. She may have the best intentions and truly think that she knows what is best for you. When your mother expresses her feelings try to stay calm. Thank her for her opinion and then gently change the subject. If you follow this technique, eventually she will realize that her criticisms and complaints are going nowhere.
Your mother's feelings may change. As you and fiancee prepare for your wedding day, she may realize that she must move on. Remaining steadfast in your relationship while showing your mom love and respect will help a positive relationship to develop over time.
