subject: The Idea That My Spouse Could Be Cheating Is Killing Me [print this page] Relationships are funny thingsRelationships are funny things. Two people choosing to be together for a time period or forever in the case of marriage, or so its written. Since the current divorce rate is up at around 53 percent in the United States, till death do us part, just doesnt hold true anymore. In reality, its easier to get divorced these days then it is to get married. Infidelity, has now become the largest percent of reasons for divorce in the United States and believe it or not Some of those divorce cases are for a suspected infidelity that never existed Or did it?
As a Private Investigator for twenty years now, I have seen a lot. Some would say Ive seen it all but not me. Every time I work on another infidelity case, I learn something new. From the types of people that end up attracted to each other to the locations that people choose to be with each other, theres always something new to learn. With the economy being in its fragile state, I have increasingly been obtaining videotape of married people cheating in the back seats of SUV as most either cant afford to pay for a hotel room or are having a harder time hiding the hotel room charge or cash needed to secure that location. That has led people to become more daring and in turn, has provided me with the opportunity to get more clear, harder evidence of their affairs.
No matter what the case is and no matter where I catch people cheating, there is one thing that I have learned over the years that I believe to be the most hurtful part of a spouse cheating. Its not the act of the affair, its not the possibility that you may lose the love of your life, its the idea stuck in your head, Is my spouse cheating?
When the idea of your spouse or significant other may be cheating first enters your mind, most people tend to push is right out. That is the brains defense mechanism fighting for your trust in your spouse or partner. Your brain notifies you briefly of the possibility that your spouse or partner is cheating and then immediately pulls that idea away as you search around your brain telling yourself that your spouse is loyal, that you are just being paranoid or that you dont know where that idea even came from. But in reality, its too late. Its in there and although you attempt to masquerade it, hide it deep down in your mind, bury it under todays to do list or what to get the kids for their birthdays, it doesnt go away.
Think of that idea as a plant seed. Once you put it into the ground, you can pretend its not there but yet, as time goes past and you continue to water it, it grows and grows. It then becomes full blown and has begun to take on a life of its own. The same goes for the idea of an affair, adultery, of your spouse in a cheating relationship with another person. The idea, was planted and although you fight to forget it because, you know your spouse isnt a cheater and that it is impossible that they could do something like that to you, it remains.
As the days pass and time goes by, you unwillingly begin to notice things about your spouse or partner. You notice that they have been working later than normal. Now, normally that would mean nothing. It could be their busy season. They may have new projects in the works but because of your planted seed, you start to think, are they not at the office? Are they out with someone else? Could they have been lying to me? As you continue to think about the possibilities, even though you have no proof whatsoever, you are watering your seed. You are adding water and sun to the seed that you already planted and it is now starting to grow.
As further time passes, more and more things are perceived to be wrong. Why cant I reach my spouse when I call? Why is their phone always off at home? Why did they take $ 50.00 out of the ATM yesterday? You then start to really believe that your spouse or partner is having an affair. You have now justified, in your mind, that something is wrong. You look around the house for other things to find. You check their pockets for numbers on papers, you check their collar for lipstick, or their panties for sexual activity knowing that you havent been intimate with them for some time now. How can you? Knowing that they have been with another person and may have brought a disease home. You continue to see things that may or may not be there because the need to feed your seed has now grown to the point that it has penetrated the soil and is now sprouting.
Now that you have either convinced yourself that your spouse is cheating or have picked up on the many clues that they have left for you proving they are having an affair, it is time to obtain the necessary evidence to present to them. Evidence that will not only prove to them that you know but prove to yourself that you werent crazy. That you werent just being paranoid about your spouse or partner having an affair. That is when you contact a Private Investigator.
Rest assured, when you do call a Private Detective, what you are about to tell them has been heard before. Private Investigators have been working marital investigations since the days of Pinkerton in the 1800s. Where there are people there are couples, where there are couples there are affairs, adulterers, cheating spouses. As you begin to tell the investigator what you believe to be true, listen to what they have to say. Most times, clients are so angry with their spouse or so sad about their predicament that they just start to blurt out the facts and do not listen to strategy or ways to most effectively catch their spouses. When the Investigator has heard all that you have to say and you and the investigator have developed a plan to catch your spouse or partner in the act, your job becomes simple but yet the most difficult thing you have ever had to do. Your job is now to go home, to be with your spouse in a manner that you were prior to determining that or believing that they are cheating. You have to be normal in a house full of anarchy and make your spouse buy it. That is because if you continue on your ranting and raving, you will convince your spouse that you know of their affair or your paranoia and they will change their habits. Stop seeing the person that you are convinced they are. Then the investigator goes out and guess what. Theyre not cheating. Then you really start to believe you were paranoid..
If you are feeling this way, or believe that your spouse or significant other is cheating, contact R.C. Ranno Investigative Services, LLC. Our investigators will assist you with the correct way to go about catching your cheating spouse without jeopardizing their actions. Our Connecticut Investigators have GPS Vehicle Tracking Devices that you can rent to put on your spouses vehicle, our investigators are trained to follow your spouse around videotaping all of their activities. Let us provide you with a free telephone consultation to discuss your situation and to see what we think. Were here, all you have to do is call.
Connecticut Private Investigators that conduct Insurance Fraud Investigations, Workers Comp Insurance Fraud Investigations, Liability Claims Investigations, CT Private Investigators that conduct surveillance on claims for Insurance Companies, Self Insured Businesses, Small Businesses, Large Corporations, Law Firms, Colleges, Government Facilities, State Agencies, Workers Compensation Commissions and the the general public. Other investigations include Personal Injury, Criminal Defense Investigations, Locating Missing Persons, Infidelity Investigations, Cheating Spouse Investigations, Witness Statement, Child Custody Investigations, GPS Rentals and much more.
