subject: Is Couples Therapy Right For You? [print this page] Are you searching for a counselor because you're in a relationship that feels as though it's dead or seems to provide primarily frustration and rage?
Few experiences are more painful than choosing to share your life with someone and later discovering that you're unable to connect with them in a positive way.
When you feel like your partner isn't the person you fell in love with; when you feel like the communication gap between you widens every day; when it feels like your relationship is beyond help after discovering an affair... you may begin to feel that it's too late to do anything to salvage and save the love you once shared.
But, as you're reading this article, you likely still care enough about your partner and your relationship you're willing to help however you can. If that's the case, your marriage is probably worthy of salvaging and should be given an opportunity to thrive.
Couples counseling and therapy can help you restore the trust and intimacy your relationship once enjoyed. Couples therapy can provide a secure space and the techniques and tools you need to give your relationship a chance of success. Couples therapy can help you and your partner:
Put an end to endless arguments
Overcome prior wounds and unpleasant memories
Settle variations in parenting techniques
Increase your intimacy and love life
Heal from an affair
Become closer
Become actively interested and engaged in the life you've created together
When thinking about couples counseling and therapy, it's not at all uncommon to wonder if hiring a couples therapist will really help.
That having been said, recently researchers have attempted to ascertain the efficacy of couples counseling.
In an article posted by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, clients of marriage and family therapists from 15 states described their experiences with couples counseling. The answers demonstrate that marriage and family therapists can effectively and efficiently address various couples difficulties in a relatively brief space of time and that patient results and satisfaction levels are quite good.
The vast majority of couples counselors would agree that a couple's motivation to help their marriage work is the most important factor in determining the success of couples counseling. It's unlikely that even the very best couples therapist will help save a marriage when one partner has already decided to get out, and even a mediocre couples therapist will probably help a couple who is absolutely committed to doing the work necessary to make their relationship succeed.
Which kind of couples benefit most from couples therapy? Apart from those willing to do the work necessary, the answer appears to be reasonably young, non-sexist couples who remain in love and wish to be open and honest with each other.
Which couples receive the least benefit from couples counseling? Couples therapy seems to be less successful for couples who wait too long before seeking help, and where one partner is already set on leaving and is closed to any suggestions that may save the relationship.
That having been said, if you and your spouse are intent on having the very best relationship possible, couples counseling and couples therapy can offer a secure place to explore your relationship, help you find and address any detrimental patterns in your interactions with one another, and supply you communication tools and skills to restore trust, grow intimacy, and rediscover the joy, surprise, and closeness in your relationship.
