subject: Creating A Relationship You Deserve [print this page] Relationships usually begin when two people are at the "Alone Stage", although I know that things often start when one or both partners are involved with someone else. My understanding is that relationships have a greater chance of success when both parties have spent some time alone, and not loving someone else.
What does a person do when he is alone? If you are interested in creating conditions that you deserve, you can be the best person you can be. Each successive condition, we start to give lessons and information we need to think. If we are attracted to the wrong people in our lives, then perhaps it's because we're not the person we should be for us to create a relationship with the person of our dreams.
This also means that each "wrong" person we attract into our lives is exactly the right person we need to teach us the lesson we need to get to move closer to the person we truly want. This is why I never look back at any relationships I have had with regret. Maybe not in the moment, but over time, I have come to understand that I learned valuable lessons in each of my past relationships and I grew, which then helped me become a better person.
Whenever we find ourselves in between relationships, it is not a time to longingly wish for the next partner to arrive. It is not the time to go out "prowling" for the next person to make you complete. The time between relationships is a very important healing time. It is a time to look back on the past relationship to discover what that person was there to teach you about life, love and yourself. It's a time of introspection to determine who you want to be in a relationship. I'm not talking about playing roles but I am talking about a genuine transformation of yourself into the person who deserves the relationship you seek.
No one dreams their entire life about meeting a mediocre partner- someone who thinks of them sometimes, who loves them a little and takes care of some of their needs. No one looks to get involved in relationships with people who lie, cheat and disrespect them. No one asks for verbal or physical abuse in a relationship. So how can we break the pattern of choosing the same type of person over and over again? I believe the key is to look at each relationship as the perfect relationship you needed at that point in time and then go about attempting to figure out what it was about the person that made him or her perfect for you during that period in your life.
Once you figure this out, you will have learned a valuable lesson. If you take that lesson and put it to use in your life, then you have one half of the equation.
