subject: After The Affair - My Wife Forgave Me, But I Can't Forgive Myself [print this page] It's one thing to know that your wife forgives you for cheating. It's another thing to look in the mirror and forgive yourself. You're a good man. You work hard to provide for your family. You love your wife and your children. You only want what's best for all of them. So, how on earth did you find yourself in this terrible mess?
Put things in Perspective
You're not the first man to ask that question. You're also not the worst husband in the world as a result. It's easy to blame yourself. You feel as though everyone else blames you. The thing is you don't feel as though you went to bed and suddenly woke up channeling pure evil.
People change. What happened in the past can happen again in the future, but what you did now can never change who you really. Cheating happens in one way or another to almost all relationships, but it should never be used as a way to judge someone's capability to change and make things right.
Once a cheating husband knows these things, he would be able to see his cheating in a level different from his old point of view.
When you put things in perspective it's easier to see that cheating is a mistake. It's also a little bit easier to live with the fact that you've made a mistake. It's one of the bigger ones but it doesn't automatically put you on par with some of the truly evil people throughout history.
Go Forth and Sin no More
Too plain and simple, eh? Yes, this is what the truth is - plain and simple yet cuts through like a double edge sword. Condemning yourself is like living the past now and eventually destroying the happiness of the future. Don't you want to get over it in the first place?
Cheating might have been throwing you with constant frustration and anger towards yourself. The remorse is present, but the pain lingers like forever and you don't exactly know if you can still move on despite of your wife's forgiveness. Choose to move on then. You were not brought back together just to fret over past issues. Her forgiveness meant moving towards the future as a couple. How do you expect if she did otherwise?
