subject: 5 Positive Things My Tragic Divorce Taught Me [print this page] Point number 1: I found Jesus in a new way
Through my divorce all my friends and family deserted me, you know that feeling right? They do the blame game, its your fault / the other persons fault etc etc ad nauseum. Or they just dont want to take sides and want to stay out of the way. So you end up feeling unloved and unable to turn to anyone. Its when you feel like this, that depression sets in and you start to blame yourself, you play the blame game, maybe I should have done this or that, or if I'd loved them better this wouldnt have happened, or if only.... etc.
All this did to make me feel guilty and beat up on myself, then after a while I got to, well its not my fault, and I began to hate the one I loved, demonising her littlest of faults, making them into great big black mountains, this made me feel justified.
During all of this I was crying out to Jesus in a new way, I was seeking him to heal my wounds and to comfort me. Which he did and as he loved me and helped me get back on my feet, and out of my bed. Which I had taken to staying in and wanting to shut myself away from the world. I was filled with his strength and love which helped me to take that one step further each day.
Point number 2: I learned to trust the word of God
As I sat reading my Bible looking for answers, as to why this had happened to me, did I sin? Was it my fault? Did God hate me for allowing My wife to divorce me? Was there hope that I could marry again? Would God forgive me?
I found all of the answers to my questions, God did not hate me for letting my wife divorce me, it was her after all that had committed adultery, so in Gods eyes I was blameless. The Bible says, adultery is the only good reason for divorce, I felt a lot better now, as I hadnt sinned. God had answered 2 questions so far, so it hought hmm lets find out more. There was most definatley hope that I could marry again, as the divorce was not my fault, and yes God did forgive me. So I had all of my answers answered, Praise God.
Point number 3: I learned to take direction from the Holy spirit.
As I grew in my understanding of the Bible I realised that the Holy spirit had actually been gently talking to me all the time. What do mean about this? well you know when you get the feeling somethings not right, or you suspect someone is cheating on you etc? Well that was the gentle nudgings of the Holy spirit, I just wish now that I had searched for him sooner and then I would have heard his advice more clearly. It has been the holy Spirit in my life gently guiding me through all of this. Indeed he is called the comforter, in the Bible.
Point number 4: I learnt forgiveness heals all bitterness.
I must admit that I was very bitter about my divorce, and to be honest, it was eating me up inside. I was walking over old wounds, and hurts and was constantly getting them out, so I could hate her more. Where was this getting me? only a pain in my heart. So with Gods help I decided to forgive her, yes that's right, forgive her, how I hear you ask? Well I decided to forgive her and release all of the pain from my heart. Now this was not an easy task, but what I would do is just think, oh well, forgive and forget, move on, every time a bad thought about her came into my head. This is not to say I no longer thought she had done wrong, but at least I was at peace with it. The Bible does teach that forgiveness and love covers a multitude of sins. Does this mean I would take her back? No way.
Point number 5: I have learned that through every tragedy and every pain, we can help others.
Its true that if we have suffered much and have experienced many tragedies, then we can relate to others pain and hurtful experiences. This is comforting to me, as I now know that when a person is hurting that, I can perhaps give a listening ear and help walk them through thier pain. As I will be understanding, and have experienced similar things. Really there is one who does understand all of our hurts, pains, temptations, trials etc. His name is Jesus, ask him into your life and start to talk and walk with him, you will have the very best friend ever. I promise you, its a choice you will never regret.
