subject: Just Be Honest - How to Create a Healthy Relationship From the Start - Part 2 [print this page] Author: John Patton Author: John Patton
In the first article of this series I began outlining the steps necessary in order to form a solid foundation for any new relationship. If you have not read the first article in the series that is fine as it is not necessary to have read it to understand what I am outlining in this installment. I am however operating on several assumptions that I explained in greater detail in the first article. The primary assumption is that honesty and work, not "the power of love" are what make a relationship successful.
Today's article will discuss how and why to discuss financial concerns when starting a new relationship.
Why: Money is one of those funny topics that people feel uncomfortable discussing, having been socially conditioned to avoid the topic. Their is an erroneous belief that if you are thinking about money, or if finances are a concern, than you are somehow shallow or materialistic. This is simply not the case. Financial concerns are a major issues in everyone's life, and you can plan for your future, and the future of your relationship without being obsessed with wealth or possessions. failing to talk about current and future financial obligations and concerns will once again result in assumptions and a confusion in the long term scope of a relationship.
How: It is easier in this particular area to express your situation and concerns first, thus opening the topic than to ask someone else about their financial situation. It is also easy to connect this discussion with one about career choices and aspirations, which will be the topic of another article. The following is a short list of financial topics to discuss.
-Debt. Everyone has some level of debt, and for many people this is an embarrassing topic. However it is important to be honest. No one likes to find out six months into a relationship that the person they were hoping to build a life with is saddles with huge mountains of debt. Something that would be easy to deal with in the initial stages of a relationship becomes a huge burden if it comes up later.
-Assets. Much like debt, people are almost embarrassed by the things that they posses. However, the larger a difference in assets that two people in a relationship possess the harder it is to connect as equals. This is especially true if the topic comes up at a later date.
-Bills. If one member of the relationship pays for everything at the start of the relationship that becomes an expectation. However, the initial dating and wooing process is not the same as the extended relationship. Roles change, and most people are looking for a measure of equity.
As always these are just suggestions. Discussing these topics will not ensure a healthy relationship, but avoiding them will doom one.About the Author:
John has been writing articles for nearly 4 years. Come visit his latest website
