subject: Being Happy: What Is It That Truly Makes Us Happy? [print this page] I truly believe that anyone can achieve his or her dreams in life. To me a dream is just a not yet realised reality. If you can picture what living your dream will look like, describe it in words and break it down into smaller goals that you can work on each month, it is no longer a dream. It will become a reality as long as you stay focused on your goals and take action.
However, what I have found is many people haven't really thought about what they truly want out of life. How can you take steps towards your dream, if you haven't worked out what your ideal life really looks like?
The society we live in often creates an expectation of how we should live our lives. Society often guides us down the path that we are expected to follow.
In our western society, the path often goes something like this:
- You go to school
- You may get a higher education for example go to university or college
- If you have the opportunity you may decide to travel before lifes responsibilities kick in
- You get a job
- Over time, you may get promoted, or change jobs and earn a higher income
- Get married
- Buy a house
- Have children
- Along the way, you buy consumer items for example car, furniture, large screen television, home stereo system
- You try to pay your lifestyle bills and keep a balance between credit card debt, mortgage and earnings
- Buy a bigger home, a newer car
- Along the journey you're always aiming for a balanced lifestyle: staying healthy, eating well, regular exercise, having interests or hobbies, spending quality time with family and friends, being involved with the community, and hopefully enjoying your work without having to work ridiculously long hours to pay for the lifestyle you have been leading.
- Eventually we retire
- The majority of us will live on the pension which means we will need to downgrade our lifestyle
Many of us are so busy living this expected lifestyle, we don't have the time to really think about whether this is what we truly want out of our life. What is it that truly makes us happy?
But what is happiness? Happiness is a difficult word to define as for different people it means different things. For me, being happy means simply being at peace with myself. Being at peace to me means knowing what I value, knowing what is important to me and allocating my time to those areas of my life. Of feeling that I am making a difference in areas of my life that I value. Of not being too concerned with aspects of my life which I can't control. Over time I have discovered what makes me happy. I have discovered what is important to me. I know what I care about, and what I don't care about. I know how I want to make a difference in this world. I know what pulls my heart strings. I know what rewards me, and makes me feel warm inside. I also know I am in control, and I can chose to lead the life that makes me happy. I feel at peace, as I am in control of my own happiness.
My husband and I have just returned from an amazing dive holiday in Vanuatu. In 2006, the Pacific Island nation won the enviable title of the happiest place on earth, according to the "happy planet index". But besides the palm trees, beaches, fresh organic food and average temperatures of 28 during the Summer, and 23 during Winter, why is life so good there?
One of the factors that makes Vanuatu such a happy place is the people; they have a relaxed attitude to everyday life.
"Life is not lived at such a fast pace as many cultures, things are done in the time they naturally take. They have 83 different islands, people speak many languages but they all live in harmony and feel a link to each other and the culture. Life is very peaceful."
"They have a unique quality. There is no sloppy emotion, they are so genuine in welcoming you into their country, their lives and their homes.
While living in Vanuatu, a well-travelled man was once stranded for three weeks on one of its most remote islands with his 10-year-old son, due to an airline dispute.
With no shops and nowhere to stay, they were looked after by local people. One day he came across a young local man who had just returned to the island after studying at an English University.
"He asked the young local man what he was going to do with his life now and he just pointed at his fishing rod and said 'this'. He could have been one of the top earners in Vanuatu if he wanted, but he was contented with his simple life and didn't want anything else.
Whenever I return from a beautiful holiday, I always reflect on where my life is right now. To be careful that I am not so busy creating and living a hectic lifestyle: one that does not make me happy. Normally it is the simple things in life that truly make us happy. We need to be careful not to over complicate our lives and be so busy, busy, busy that we are being pulled from the things that are so special to us.
At this point, I want you to start thinking about where your life is right now. What are your dreams? What is your definition of happiness? By your definition of happiness, are you currently happy?
