subject: Knowing The Essential Factor For A Successful & Healthy Relationship [print this page] It seems as if creating successful relationships with our loved ones and foster children are two of the most difficult tasks we face and yet we receive no formal training in either. It is as if people believe we are born with an inherent ability to do these things. But look around. In the U.S., the divorce rate is a bit over 50%! I do not know anywhere but baseball, where an average of 50% is a good thing.
Couples go through life getting along when times are good, and fighting, ignoring or others when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships with the admission of a certain type of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly believe that relationships are something that is supposed to only be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that these out there helping couples can not know more than them. After all, you need to know about relationships together?
Well, the truth is that there is much to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, most of the only training we receive is the person who receives training through modeling of adults living in our home with us and the media. Now, I do not know about you, but my parents had received only informal training they received from their parents, and my great-grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is much more to know about the relationship than that!
In addition, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited above in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships is that you never see couples arguing, especially in front of children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage, but my father suffered a stereotypical mid-life and suddenly wondered about the meaning of "life" and decided the marriage was holding him somehow.
In a way, this type of training may have been as bad as those parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural byproduct of the relationship. It is practically impossible for two people come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or activities of daily conflict with each other. The question is how the couple handles the conflict.
There are many things to consider when talking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I think there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of the attraction of chemical interaction occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction does not care what the other person values, what is important to him or her personality characteristics in question, or what either of you like to do in your spare time. Compatibility is an essential factor for a successful and healthy relationship.
