subject: Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety [print this page] Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety
The most troublesome problem facing me when I was made the choice to overcome shyness and social anxiety was my negative thoughts and limiting beliefs.
I started to realize that this kind of thinking were making me afraid to do a lot of the things I wanted to experience.One dayI came to the realization that these belief were limiting my potential.I read a quote"If you want something that you have never had, you have to do what you have never done."
That quote literally changed my life.I started reading about what really makes us tick. I I started reading all kinds of books that explained to me that I was not my thoughts.
You are always going to have thoughts that run through your head,you can not stop that fromhappening, but only focus on the kind of thinking that will assist you and totally ignore the thoughts that do not benefit you.
After I started to get that down, I focused on my shyness and social anxiety.It was awful. I literally did not step outside of my room for two years. SA was easy to deal with. Negative thinking was the biggest villian.
Pay attention to what thoughts you'refocusing on. Do not attach yourself to a future outcome really andoutwardly. You get anxious when you are focused on the thoughts running through your head. Focus on the personsyou're talking to and the circumstance you are in.
If you are a gamer (I played games all the time in the past, so I am going to use that as my example.) your attention is on what is unfolding in the game and not on the thoughts racing through your mind.
You your intention is to defeat the game,but you are in the moment of the game. You understand that if you keep playing eventually you are going to, but when you are playing, you are not thinking about the end. You're focused on the task at hand. While you are playing the game, you are not attached to the outcome of beating the video game, you're enjoying it. You are not caught up in the thinking blasting through your head.
So, when you're out meeting speaking to other people, do not be so focused on if the person is going to befriend you or not. I started to realize a lot of results when I showed an interest in people and stopped trying my best to get people to like me. I saw immediate results. I started to notice when I was interested in others, I was able to have people to truly enjoy my company than when I tried to get people to like me.
You will begin to understand human behavior. People loves to discuss themselves and they like to talk about their hobbies.
Bear in mind that you have nothing to prove. Be interested about people, but on the same token do not be so invested in the outcome. If all that is on your mind is "I hope this person likes me." You are setting yourself up for failure.
Look forward to trying new things. (Oh is that all!) Concentrate outwardly and concentrate on the task and not on the negative thoughts.
Whenever you are brushing or showering, are you thinking to yourself. "Man, I hope I'm doing this properly?" No you are not.You are focused on the at hand.
Something you can do to get started is start paying attenttion to your thoughts. Take notice when those anxious thoughts come up. See if you can figure out the reason they came up. Was it because a awful experience? Then try to replace that negative thought with something empowering. What can you think of that makes you feel better? What puts you in a great state of mind? Bring that to mind and use that to drive you. You will start to get into the habit of choosing what to focus on and that is where change starts to happen.
I hope this helped you. Don't be afraid to venture outside of your comfort zone, it is when you really begin to grow.
