subject: Communication In Relationships: How To Tone Down Your Tone [print this page] Annoyance: "What are you doing?!" Annoyance: "What are you doing?!"
Contempt (thinking that the other person is stupid): "What are you doing?"
Curiosity: "What are you doing?"
If you listen closely, you should be able to hear how a change in tone can change an entire message without changing one word. Our tone and our energy are a huge part of communicating. When speaking, we want to make sure our energy matches our words. We also want to make sure that our energy is clean (respectful, grounded and honest) regardless of whether we're angry, joyful or sad. We can be furious with someone, yet still be clean in how we speak to them. We can also be firm without being abusive or harsh.
When it comes to being an effective communicator, my motto is "Don't let a great message get lost in the delivery." It's in your best interest to speak in a way in which the other person can hear you, so clean up your side. Your words, energy and body language all need to match up and all need to be respectful. Say it straight, be honest and lose the tone.
CHALLENGE: When speaking to others, pay attention to your tone, energy and body language. All three need to be sending the same message. That message should be respectful of the other person's dignity as a fellow and equal human being in order to be effective.
Communication In Relationships: How To Tone Down Your Tone
