subject: Fear, Optimism And The Counseling Process-from Mchenry, Wauconda, Lake In The Hills And Cary, Il [print this page] Wondering if psychotherapy or counseling might help you? Maybe you're worried because counseling seems a bit threatening.
After all, once in psychotherapy and counseling, you will have to confront unpleasant facts, such as your defense mechanisms, hidden motivations and subconscious desires. Confronting your unconscious may be frightening because there may be much that you would just as soon remain unaware of.
You might be worried that you might experience too much anxiety during the process. After all, if you became aware of all of your hidden drives and unflattering motivations, you might not feel so proud of yourself anymore.
Much of our anxiety and depression starts in childhood. Childhood trials generate a lot of emotional pain because it is at this time in life, that we experience lots of negative experiences that are often traumatizing.
We also have to come to terms with the destructive impact that our defense mechanisms can often have on us. Defense mechanisms are psychological techniques that we acquire in childhood to relieve our, all to prevalent, anxiety.
These include projection, displacement, rationalization etc.which are often useful in childhood but can be just as devastating in adulthood. Later, in adulthood, they cause painful levels of depression and anxiety.
As stated previously, originally, as children, they effectively reduced our anxiety, so that we could cope and effectively manage our feelings. But if we continue to use these defense mechanisms as adults, we start experiencing numerous emotional problems.
Professional counseling is designed to bring these defenses to light so that we can live a more fulfilled life in adulthood. However, not everyone benefits to the same extent from counseling and psychotherapy.
What personal attributes does one need to benefit from counseling? The short answer is focused optimism and hope.
Focused, concentrated hope and optimism are the crucial positive attributes that can allow us to deeply benefit from most healing processes, including counseling and psychotherapy. The amount of hope one manifests is sometimes proportional to one's sense of worth.
When self-worth is so depleted that we cannot imagine any new possibilities for our lives, then goals and dreams become unreachable. Our minds become afraid of dreaming, we fear failure and expect to be frustrated over and over again, ad infinitum.
Choosing focused hope and optimism rather than attending to feelings of futility, increases the odds that you will benefit from the counseling healing process. Of course, when beginning counseling, anxiety and self-doubt will not immediately disappear.
But rather, in spite of your self-doubt, you will learn to focus on hope and optimism. That is what ultimately will open the door to elimination of your anxiety.
Then, through the counseling process, you will start revealing your inner-most self and disclosing the feelings and situations which caused your childhood and adulthood traumas. By becoming more emotionally transparent, reflecting on your doubts and by shedding your defenses, you gradually start to acquire a stronger sense of self and greater feelings of empowerment.
Counseling is the polar opposite of self-punishment. In a sense, self-punishment is exceedingly and childishly selfish because it is done solely to distract us and numb our negative emotions of guilt and shame. Then, no progress is made.
Self-punishment and masochistic thinking only leads to further problems and a chaotic self. These self-defeating behaviors will often bring an end to your sense of identity and destroy your peace of mind.
So explore psychotherapy. Choose hope instead of fear and deal with your problems directly through the time-tested process of counseling.
