subject: How Do I Get Over My Relationship? [print this page] "Change your thoughts and you will change your world." -Norman Vincent Peale
The single one thing that you can do to change your situation is learn how to get in control of your thinking. We think some 60,000 thoughts a day and most of them go unnoticed, they are part of our unconscious thinking. These are thoughts that go over and over in our minds and they are the exact thoughts that cause us to feel the way we do.
Some people think that their feelings create their thoughts, when in fact, it is the opposite. Our thoughts create how we feel. If you are constantly thinking limiting, negative thoughts such as: I miss him/her, I feel so devastated, I'm so depressed, why did this happen, I will never get over him, I will never meet someone that I love like him/her, why, what if, if only and on and on. How do you think these kinds of thoughts are going to make you feel?
On the other hand, if you stop yourself and start to say things like: I may miss him, but I know I will get over this soon, or, I feel the devastation but nothing lasts forever. Or, I may be depressed now but with time I am healing my heartache, and on and on.
Switch the negative, woe-is-me thinking and flip it to a positive, livable version. As the saying goes, "It's not what happens to us that matters as much as how we perceive what happens to us."
Of course you will go through the normal healing process which will take some time, but if you learn to help yourself by understanding that a lot of the pain is directly connected to your thoughts you will be able to implement the tools to help yourself heal much faster.
It's important to understand this concept because only then you can do something about it. The key to tapping into this awareness is to simply ask yourself, how am I feeling?
Use your feelings as a barometer to determine if you are on the right or wrong "thinking path." If you are feeling bad, you can be assured it is in direct correlation to what you're thinking.
Test it. Stop yourself and say, what am I telling myself? Am I dwelling on the past, the heartache and worrying? Am I going over and over, what if and why? Well, there it is. These are the exact kinds of thoughts that will keep you stuck from moving on.
When you notice that you are feeling bad and you become aware of the inner dialogue is your opportunity to flip the channel by stopping the debilitating thinking and begin to take yourself on the road to recovering from your pain.
I use this same exact method when I am coaching people in other aspects of their lives. If it's money issues, work related topics or simply living with a negative attitude.
Rest assured it's all about what you are constantly saying to yourself. So start to tune into what is going on in your head and when you don't like what you hear, change the channel. In time you will get better at it and it will help you to live a better life no matter what your circumstances.
