subject: 10 Tips to Build Confidence in the Network Marketer by:John Stuart Leslie [print this page] I read an article posted on a self improvement blog site from two years ago that had this same headline and the list of 10 things to do below. The most interesting thing about the post was that there were about 420 comments, many several paragraphs in length.
The author hit a nerve I believe in his assertions that confidence can be improved by a combination of attitudes and behavior as stated in this list:
1. Dress Sharp
2. Walk Faster
3. Good Posture
4. Personal Commercial
5. Gratitude
6. Compliment other people
7. Sit in the front row
8. Speak up
9. Work out
10. Focus on contribution
His lead in stated the following:
"Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you'll succeed."
For the network marketer, when trying to win over people into your business or convey any sense of leadership ability, you must be aware that people have a keen sense of your confidence. It's like a sixth sense. It may be subtle, but people can sense it and they are watching for it.
Lack of confidence is very difficult to hide if you don't have it. People are looking to invest in someone who conveys leadership qualities, one being that of confidence.
So you can say that your degree of success is in part, tied to your degree of self confidence. Your degree of self confidence is also reflective of how you handle fear, doubts and worries. Your ability to act on those perceived fears gives you a sense of confidence that can be perceived through your attitude and actions.
The key thought is whether you perceive anything as fear and to what degree. Something may be fearful to most people, but to you, it may be no big deal. The way you handle it conveys your sense of confidence that people see.
So if you are fearless you will always be perceived as confident. One must therefore look upon their thoughts without fear and they will develop a demeanor that is seen as confident. Sounds too simple right?
The difference between outright fear and feeling unstoppable is a state of mind that is hard to completely erase with simply putting on nice clothes or walking quickly. Thoughts change constantly. Your ability to feel confident has to do with both your feelings of fear and your feelings of self worth.
Subconscious thoughts of self doubt and self worth can sabotage you and limit your ability to counter your sense of fear in any given situation. So when someone is perceived as not having self confidence, is what they are also seeing their self esteem?
Yes, but acting courageously can be your ability to be confident while on the inside battling your feelings of self worth. Your negative thoughts don't always have to hold you back. It's how you decide to act upon them that determines your confidence and how you are perceived.
Let's say you are in a bar, you see an attractive person across the room and you're buddy urges you to go over and ask her to dance. In fact, he challenges you. Your feeling of fear goes through the roof. You fear that you will be rejected and look like a fool in front of everyone.
Public humiliation (in the form of looking stupid while public speaking) is the number one fear of most Americans. Your voice of self esteem kicks in reminding you of what happened the last time you did such a thing.
You replay the tapes and getting a chill over your body. You react with emotional pain and a decision not to risk it again for fear of experiencing this feeling of pain once again. However, if you are a rejection junkie with extremely low self esteem, you will indeed go over to the person, get rejected, and then subconsciously affirm that you were right.
Your low self esteem part of your brain said to you that there's no way you can succeed with that woman. That you are not successful because of your ongoing negative thought patterns and its no time to start changing your thinking! Because that is who you are!
Now, let's say the friend who challenged you decides to go over and ask the same woman to dance. Does he have fear? Perhaps. Does he look confident? Yes. But he made the decision to act upon his perceived fears.
He dismissed his thoughts of inaction because he dismissed the thoughts as being irrational and he had the power to control his own thoughts by dismissing them and to conquer them. The woman agreed to dance with him in part because he exuded self confidence. For it was not a reason for rejecting his offer had she chose.
Is having high self confidence merely a protective shield against feelings of fear? It is if you're faking it. People can pretend and sometimes get away with it. But to not address the self sabotaging thoughts through internal dialogue will result in that suppressed deep down feeling of lacking confidence to persist.
Courage is the opposite of fearful. Courage is a perceived attribute one has when judging other's attitude and behavior. Courage is "feeling the fear and doing it anyway". Afterwards, you can meditate and address your thoughts of fear so that next time you can always do "it" - without the fear - confidently.
Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable. - Walt Disney
Let me know what you think of this post. Or pass it along to your favorite sites. Thanks!
About the author
John Stuart Leslie
Manifesting 24/7
"Grow Your Network As You Grow Your Self"
John Stuart Leslie is a network marketing professional providing solutions to struggling network marketers looking to stay in the game and achieve their goals.
