subject: Great Expectations: The Basis of Frustration in Human Nature and Beliefs [print this page] This document is on the subject of expectations but it has nothing to do with a Charles Dickens story. Forgive me if you got here here via a search engine since you might, in reality, have been seeking Dickens.
I have always been fascinated by "frustration" as an observer, a target, and an origin of it. In my investigation of Psychology I found out that frustration entails three elements: our expectations, our beliefs about actuality and our reactions. Psychologists define "frustration" as our response to the variation between what we expect and our concept of what literally comes to pass. For instance, if we expect our supervisor will compliment us regarding our job, and he or she expresses something cynical about it actually, we respond negatively. Our response may be physical, mental or emotional, or a mixture of the three. That reaction is known as "frustration."
The level of our frustration is directly proportional to the variation between the strength of our expectation and the extent of the failure of actuality to match the expectation. If you have got a significant expectation of a particular result, you are going to not be frustrated if the result occurs. Conversely, if the end result doesn't come about, you are likely to be frustrated. The bigger the original expectation, the higher the frustration if it doesn't come about. When you do not expect any outcome, or have a reduced expectation, you'll not encounter much frustration when it does not occur.
Plainly, if you are able to stay clear of experiencing expectations it is possible to stay clear of frustration. It is crucial to understand this principle since in quite a few cases, as in this example, we have no command over the results of our circumstances. Unfortunately, it truly is not possible to avoid expectations, because expectations are a consequence of our requirement to understand how the world functions. We need to manage to employ a bit of control over our surroundings and recognizing what to expect is really a requirement for that process. Our environment isn't continuously benevolent, and our expectations enable us to respond properly to guard ourselves. As an example, we might hear someone say, "I made it through that situation because I knew what to expect."
We are presented with a dilemma: we need to have expectations to be able to cope with our natural environment, but those expectations frequently create frustration. Two basic guidelines can serve us to lessen frustration inside the face of this dilemma of human nature:
Have realistic expectations. Understand the distinction between needs and expectations. There's really no built in relationship between the two. The mere fact that we really want something does not create any likelihood that we will obtain it. If we want to minimize frustration we have to have the proper awareness of the factors and then choose appropriate actions to get what we wish to have.
When you base your expectations on variables that you don't recognize or cannot or will not manage, you boost your probability of frustration. This is particularly critical in human society. When we establish our expectations of folks on our suppositions about their ideals or their beliefs and thinking regarding us, we risk frustration. When we fail to tell individuals what we expect of them, we are in danger of frustration as well. When we irrationally expect men and women to magically fully grasp our own ideals, philosophy and behaviour, we're almost bound to beroutinely frustrated. It is unreasonable to base our expectations of other people on the supposition that they will believe and respond like us.
Great Expectations: The Basis of Frustration in Human Nature and Beliefs
