subject: Key to Opening Up Relationships [print this page] Author: Ian Bell Author: Ian Bell
My friend believes that human beings are essentially polygamous. That they cannot stick to sexual relationships with one person alone. Mind you, he has never cheated on his wife or any of his girlfriends. Nor has he ever broken up with any of his women; it has always been them who have moved on. Yet he does not believe it is humanly possible to be with one person forever. Statistically that can easily be proven wrong. All over the world, especially in our parents' generations, we have widespread evidence of successful, monogamous marriages. Yet how many of these people can truly say that they have never felt the need to stray? Or for that matter that they have fantasised about someone else while sleeping with their partners? Take serial monogamists. It is socially acceptable to have had many partners but only if it is one at a time. Even then we make comparisons. We like to know how many people our partners have slept with even if we do not want to know the details, and we compare it to our own record. Is it because we know that we are equally capable of slipping, and sleeping with someone else that we worry about it so much? Fact is that, all of us feel that if we are committing to a relationship, the other must commit to the same extent. But from a basic, animalistic point of view, we have specific requirements of conjugation. Women need to feel that they are in a safe home and that their nest is well protected from all dangers. Today, those dangers include the danger of losing the male who provides that security to more attractive females. Men, on the other hand, have always felt the need to spread their seed. In that sense their tryst with extra marital affairs are nothing but pure propagation of the species. The logical extension of that must mean that sex and relationships can be two different things. As the world has moved away from its settler and agrarian roots, the actual functions of males and females as home providers and home makers have also changed. And we have to move with the times. Women are exploring their sexualities more, experimenting with more sexual partners, and men are settling into less physical and more emotional states of being. If we can accept our vulnerabilities and our faults, we might be able to understand that what we want out of love and relationships is an aspiration. That human beings, because they can, are trying to achieve more spiritual and less animal behaviours. But we haven't moved that far from animal yet. And that is not something to be ashamed about. So why do open relationships not work? Remember the free love of the sixties. Utter failure. Perhaps the answer lies in the fact that our societies are centred around families. Our laws, especially civil and property related, and our need for possession are too strong to let us look at new ways of living. The need to establish your territory and protect it has its logical extension in nations. It will not be easy to break these up. Till then, monogamy will be sought. What a pity!About the Author:
Im Ian and I write many articles on the subject of golf. Come and visit my latest website over at: http://www.bluerayplayersonline.com that helps people find the best blueray players available on the market.
