subject: Marraige After Infidelity- 2 Techniques To Stay Alive After The Affair [print this page] How to survive an affair can be a terrible situation of doubts, emotional hurt, arguments and a gradual descent towards separation and divorce. Even then your marriage after an affair can also turn into a relationship that is more lasting and more loving than it was before. Read on to find out how you can attain this...
The scheme to getting through an affair in a marriage is to forgive the cheating and not to forget the charting. This is hard though and can take a long time to do for some people and a quicker for others but it can be done if you remember these few tips:
Build a new marriage, do not restructure the same one
One of the most immediate response to infidelity is of course just hoping things were the same... oddly even if before was not that good. You see, things will NEVER be the same again, how could they? Trying to fix something as crushed and broken as the trust and your relationship will just produce a weak facsimile of the marriage before you found out the cheating. Like a fragile vase shattered and glued back together. It could be very challenging, but it can be done. It will include a lot of patience and hard work to put everything back together.
Why not put your energy on creating a new relationship, a new marriage with a better set of values and a new way of living and loving. The affair can not be forgotten but it can be forgiven and a new path taken.
Do not feed anger and resentment
While you are entitled to feel angry and resentful when your spouse cheats on you with another, letting this beast grow only makes it stronger and more difficult to control. If you let yourself be consumed by anger and direct it towards your partner you will cause them to retaliate. You will also slowly create an invisible barrier to open and honest communication that can lead to healing.
In case you are becoming so mad that you cannot have a decent conversation simply let your spouse know you are angry and need some time to cool off then take a walk maybe. Do not give into the negative beast that in you if you want to find an answer and rebuild your marriage and love. It is essential to allow your relationship a little space to breathe sometimes. It will just go back to normal and everything will be manageable again when you communicate.
For more assistance and suggestions on surviving an affair in your marriage please visit my site and browse through my story of how I beat the evils of jealousy and resentment to forgive my wife and enable us to grow even closer than we have ever been and how the lessons I learned can help you do the same.
