4 Things to Do If You Want a Homebirth and Your Partner Doesn't

4 Things to Do If You Want a Homebirth and Your Partner Doesn't

Quite often, I meet women who are looking into (or dreaming about!) homebirth. Sadly, a lot of these women have unsupportive or uneducated (or scared) partners that want to have the baby in the hospital. Even sadder, I'd say many of these couples wind up with unfulfilling experiences in pregnancy and birth because not only are they in disagreement about a crucial decision, but also because they are letting fear rule them. Every woman reading this can relate on some level; either you are or you've been that woman, that woman is your best friend, your sister, your cousin. We all know women who "wish" they could plan a homebirth but their partner just isn't into the idea.So, you're pregnant (or maybe you're not yet) and you KNOW you want to have this baby at home. Your partner, on the other hand, either isn't so sure or is opposed to the idea. What's a mama to do?1. Rent the Business of Being Born and plan a date night for the two of you to watch it. It's easily accessible, even by a guy that may know "nothing" about birth, and will definitely provoke conversation and questions.2. Interview a couple of local midwives. No one says you have to hire one; but since most give a free consultation, it's a great time for your partner to ask questions and get a feel for how midwives differ from each other. 3. If he'll take the time to read it, Henci Goer's A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is an easy and fantastic read. This could even be read/skimmed together--Goer makes it easy to understand that every medical model intervention/treatment in labor and birth does have BOTH a negative and positive.4. Look around for other local mamas that have experienced homebirth or are planning one. Meetup may have a homebirth group; also check La Leche League for like-minded mamas, as well as attachment parenting the groups. Once you meet and get to know some parents that have been through homebirth, it won't seem nearly as odd or rare.The point is, there are things you can do to help get your partner to support you. Because the truth is, it's nice if everybody involved is wholeheartedly committed and responsible to homebirth. This means the baby's mom and dad work together to see and envision the same birth dream.

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