After The Affair - Advice And Tips For Getting Over Infidelity
After The Affair - Advice And Tips For Getting Over Infidelity
Getting over an emotional affair is a pretty hard thing to do. Emotional affairs are equivalent to or sometimes worse than physical affairs because they involve a level of intimacy, emotions, and spiritual connections. But with focus and dedication, there is no reason why any couple can not remove the terrible road block of infidelity and get over the difficult time that comes after the affair.
Emotional affairs are becoming more and more common than you could imagine. The rise in the popularity of social networking sites and dating sites on the internet is a contributing factor as to why emotional affairs are becoming more common in recent years. The growing number of female employees in the workplace is also a contributing factor.
The internet makes it ever so easy and likelihood that your spouse has cheated on you is very high. Spouses cheat for a variety of different reasons, but the essential cause of infidelity is that the cheater is searching for all the things that they are not getting at home. Or they have too much time on their hands and stray out of boredom.
"The good thing is that your relationship / marriage CAN be saved!"
Suspecting a husband or wife of having an emotional affair is the worst feeling that anyone can ever experience. You are NOT yet 100% sure that they are actually doing anything or not and you are probably beating yourself up arguing with yourself about 'IF - WHEN - and HOW' you can ask your spouse for the truth. It is really, really HARD!
Catching your spouse in the act just accelerates the process, but you still feel the same in the end. The person you trust and care about the most has deceived you. The feeling of betrayal saddens your heart and you instantly realize that your relationship will never be the same again. This feeling of betrayal can and will cease over time, but it will never be forgotten. Nor should it ever be forgotten!
"Learn to put the feeling of betrayal out of your mind!"
Putting the feeling of betrayal out of your mind is very important. This helps to be able to let go of the anger, hate and resentment that you may be feeling towards your spouse. Hate, resentment and anger only ever lead to one result and that is a life of never-ending confrontation. Trying to forget that the affair happened will allow you to put the whole ordeal behind you a little faster. If your spouse has agreed to end the affair, arguing about the details will just do more harm than good.
Sit Down With Your Spouse And Have a Good Long Talk!
You are in a relationship, you are both mature individuals, and you should know each other pretty well by now. Therefore, it is necessary that you sit down together and have a long talk. Find a neutral setting where you both may feel comfortable and simply just ask your husband / wife what went wrong. Let them speak freely and don't demand they give you reasons for why it happened. It happened because the two of you are not getting it together! So, without demanding reasons - ask your spouse to talk about the details. Providing you can bear hearing them. Talking about the details, disclosing the truths in relationships will help you to re-establish honesty and transparency in your relationship. Honesty and transparency are needed in order to rebuild the broken parts.
Spend More Time with Each Other Doing Things That You Enjoy!
When recovering from an emotional affair, it is important that you try really hard to spend quality time with your spouse. Quality time will help you to regain an understanding of each other's needs, wants and likes. Affairs happen because a spouse's emotional needs are not being met. Plan for and take a vacation together. Ask your spouse out on a date, go for walks together. That sort of thing! If you have kids together, it is still possible to take your children and do the things you used to do when you were still dating.
Do Not Make It Any Harder Than It Has To Be!
It is already very difficult and that is why it is necessary for you to try not to make it any more difficult than it has to be. Your marriage is like a ship and sometimes ships spring a leak. You may choose to just let it sink and flounder around in the sea of pity for the next couple of months or years. You may also choose to get a bucket and start baling water to try and keep your marriage afloat (believe me when I say that this is like walking backwards).
Or...
You can do the responsible thing and find the after the affair help that you need to plug the holes in your sinking marriage for good and learn how to have a happy marriage once again.
By the way, there is loads ofafter the affair advice and tips at:www.aftertheaffair.info
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