Are Christian Singles Cursed?

Are Christian Singles Cursed?

Is there something wrong with us single people?

I have been asked many times if I had a girlfriend. Or other variations on the same question, such as "why are you a missionary to Peru, do you have a Peruvian girlfriend?" After my response, which is "no", one of a few things undoubtedly happens--its' almost always the same: the person then asks "so how old are you?" as if it's unfathomable that a 29 year-old could be single.

The other response I get when I tell people I'm still single, is the person then asks if there's anyone I'm fancying, and 90% of the last 9 years of my life the answer has been, with total and complete honesty, "nope". But the look on peoples' faces when I say I'm single--and they know I'm 29 years old or I tell them--makes me almost wonder if I'm doing something wrong. Or if something's wrong with me.

I seriously think sometimes when I'm visiting my grandparents and aunt telling them there is no special someone in my life, I feel like they're kind of ashamed or something. Like, they're waiting for me to come out of the closet and admit to being gay or something. However, a few years ago I read words of someone else's e-mail where I was referred to by a former friend as "a queer waiting to happen". This brother in particular, no longer serving the Lord, has had a string of two-month long relationships for as long as I'd known him, and never gone more than two months without being in a relationship, so I'm not surprised he can't fathom I'm content in the Lord as a single male until the Lord changes that and invites me to initiate something towards some awesome young woman of God.

Sure, I'm human just like anybody else. I'd love to have someone to watch cheesy Leslie Neilson movies--who likes them also. I'd love to take someone special walking around various places in other cities of the world where I've prayer walked. I have all those desires and fancies. But I can wait, because I don't desire to share those times with just anyone. And I have been that way for years. Maybe a lot longer than most.

You see, I know I can't entertain a relationship in my life right now, even if I wanted to (believe me, I want to). But so much would have to change that I don't want to change yet, to be honest--and I don't think the Lord wants to change in my life this season either.

Twenty-nine? Is that really how old I am? It feels like this past decade has been just whizzing by! The other night, I was up late, and a re-run of Saturday Night Live came on and it looked almost brand-new--it's been years since I've watched it consistently, but I still catch the odd live show if someone interesting is going to be hosting it. But I knew it was a re-run because of the timeslot in which it was on. They opened with a skit based on the presidential election debates between George W. Bush (played by Will Ferrell) and Al Gore played by Darrell "is he still on SNL?" Hammond. It was hilarious as heck. And then after the opening credits, out came Dana Carvey who was hosting that episode, and he proceeded to make fun of all these politicians of the day and I *understood* the jokes and references.

I thought to myself "ten years? This episode is tenyears old? I remember this stuff like it was months ago! Where did all the time go?" But I don't feel I've wasted any time in the last six years or so. The idea of going to Bible school is still fresh, like I can't believe I even went, let alone graduated and have been on the mission field for several years! I have very few things I'd change or do differently. It's not 100% the way I'd like it to have been, but then there are a few--just a few things I'd do differently. However, there are no girls I would have gone and done something to sweep off their feet. Almost all of them that I ever had an interest in I went for it and found out quickly and with varying degrees of disappointment that it was never meant to be. I didn't begin anything that resulted in me being dumped or devastated like many of my peers.

I don't feel like I've been missing out. If anything, I feel like I've avoided a lot of crap I've watched other people get into. And I don't feel I am worthy of the pity that some people treat me with as if being single at my age is the same as having terminal illness I can do nothing about. Just because you would have died if you didn't marry your sweetheart at the age of 18 like you did, doesn't mean I'm not content, satisfied and whole in my relationship with the ultimate lover of my soul, Jesus Christ. Some of my peers may read pity my singleness all these years, but I shake my head in gratitude that I've been spared the pain I've watched many of my peers go through from relationships that were never meant to be.

So what's the rush? Will I be worthy of pity if I'm single for another five years? Ten? Never marry? (which, God, I hope is not going to happen!)

Statistically speaking, almost all of you reading this will spend the majority of your life married to someone. Do you really think it's too hard for God to make it work out with someone He has ordained for you before the foundation of the world? I personally don't believe in soul mates, I believe we choose. And I believe whomever we choose, will happen to be our soul mates. Try and figure out that paradox! I am not contradicting myself, I just believe that's how it works. Can wrong people decide to marry each other? Sure, but I don't plan on marrying the wrong person, or settling for second best, and that's why I'm still single at this point in my life. And I'm fine with it and happy because my wholeness comes from Christ Jesus, not on who else is in my life for the time being.

In fact, I've gone this long this far, and I'm not about to settle now for just anybody.

Are Christian Singles Cursed?

Are Christian Singles Cursed?

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