Article 408: The World of Gay Persons – Part Three

Article 408: The World of Gay Persons Part Three

Hasan Yahya, Ph.Ds, professor of sociology

This article is also a reflection of gay person. He wants to tell his story because he thinks that no one has been through anything like in his case. He wrote:

"I knew I was different from the early age of 4, I said the most stupid things which at the time I can laugh about now, just so you know I'm a mixed race black guy living in London, my parents are very religious Catholics, my dad is a Irish catholic and my mum is a half Canadian half Jamaican roman catholic. So that's my folks. I'm a Virgo and my earliest memory was telling my mum that "I'm a girl" obviously I was referring to my star sign but she didn't understand what I was talking about. She beat me with the wooden spoon and sent me to bed with the bible and her treasury beads."

How this developed through the school? "Primary school didn't get any better, I was sent to a catholic boarding school in Ireland for 7 years I didn't spend the whole 12 or years instead I was sent to a public school. I thought I was on the mend you know being in a school where there were boys and girls. I moved back to London in 2001 ... that's where the trouble started I wasn't fixed in fact I was 10x worse, I mixed in with a "invisible" bad gang now don't get me wrong, they were well behaved in class and school it was outside we drank and did things I normally wouldn't do. I had sex with a girl... well attempted to but couldn't get it up (she's now my best friend who knows) we started to crash random party's that's where we met some boys who were both at least in the late teens (I was about 13/14) we met them on various occasions since they could legally buy booze."

The message continues: "When me (not I) and the gang went to the new years eve festivities in London we got totally drunk and separated, I walked off with the crowd and I basically was raped by 2 maybe 3 guys. I didn't report it and I thought there wouldn't be a case. That's when I started cutting myself, it helped... it made me... well it made me feel something."

I was drinking whole bottles of vodka, rum, red square, stone ginger wine, etc with my sophisticated friends (17 to 20) and we would go to Hyde Park and drink till we run-out of booze then we would go home. I want to stop I really do but I can't and every time something get to me I start again, I'm the sort of person who keeps their feelings inside. I don't like to show my anger; everything about me is hidden away. I know all this drinking is killing me and I know it's bad but it's better than my suicide attempt and self harm.

Why this happened? "The fact that I hate my mother, In fact I hate her so much I would like to kill her. (Although I would NEVER do something like that!!) You're probably wondering why? Well a few years ago I think it was 2005 she stole over 1000 from my dad and told him it was me. Because she found out that I was gay, and she wanted to punish me for my sins. My dad didn't mind that the money was gone but it's the fact that she blamed it on me."

Nowadays, "I'm 19 now and I've finally moved out from under their wing... got a nice flat in Edinburgh. Maybe now I can have a real relationship. Oh just in case you were wondering. Yes I told them, and my dad had a heart attack I was disowned but they allowed me to live with them as a rent paying tenant. My dog "got run over" by a passer-by.. I know they murdered my dog." But when I left I stabbed the bible... I know it was wrong but at the time it felt like a good thing to do. " (705 words) www.askdryahya.com

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