Broken Trust - How To Stop A Divorce When Trust Is Broken
Broken Trust - How To Stop A Divorce When Trust Is Broken
There may be as many folk who want to know how to stop a divorce as there are answers. They may not all apply to you though, as the causes of divorce are manifold - but broken trust is one of the prime causes of this unhappy situation.
If you are in this situation because of your own unfaithfulness and want to resolve it there are some things you should do - and some you shouldn't.
Under no circumstances make promises you have no intention of keeping. There is no point in saying one thing and then doing another. If you really want to fix this situation you must actually make those changes - and stick by them.
One very important thing you must do to stop a divorce is to start accepting responsibility for your actions which caused all the problems in the first place.
It is true that actions really do speak louder than words. Stopping being unfaithful is probably very obvious but if you can't do that then your marriage really is doomed and no amount of talk will save it.
But if you really want to regain that trust and get your loved one back you must prove your trustworthiness to them in such a way that they cannot doubt it. Be aware though that this will not happen quickly. You may have caused a great deal of hurt which will take time to heal. You have shown yourself to be untrustworthy by your actions in the past so reversing that opinion can't be rushed. Be prepared for the long haul!
Demonstrating that you really have changed will be the best way to move forward again and to regain that lost trust.
Never try to deny that you have failed them. Lying just won't work. And definitely do not attempt to justify what you have done. That is a sure way to condemn the marriage to the scrapheap.
Avoid getting angry if this doesn't go your way immediately. Arguing will not help and will only inflame what is already a very sensitive situation. Let's be completely honest about this. You messed up, so the burden to sort this out is on you. Shifting the blame to your partner will only make things worse, which is not the outcome you want, is it?
It could be that it was your partner who has caused this situation by being unfaithful to you. In which case if you still want them back you will have to look at things a little differently and establish the true situation. Do they really want to come back and become a partner in a loving relationship with you again and can they be trusted to do so in the long term? If you believe they sincerely do want this you may want to give them another chance. Put yourself in their shoes and think about how they are feeling. Attempt to treat them as you would want them to treat you, if things were reversed.
Try to establish why it happened in the first place. It may have been a one-off situation which will never happen again. The third party may well have moved on to another relationship so closing that door behind them.
Many times, unfortunately, things may have gone too far and can never be resolved. This is very sad and it could be time for you to move on again. But very often with a little 'give and take' on both sides things can be put back on an even keel and the marriage saved.
If you believe things can be resolved and you really do want to get back together again seek advice. Definitely do not suffer this alone. Friends who have been in just this situation may be able to offer advice. If they failed you will learn what to avoid but if they were successful in rebuilding their relationship you might well learn a few constructive things to try for yourself.
Professional relationship advisers can often be the best way forward. These people are trained to help folk in just the situation in which you now, sadly, find yourself. Get the best advice you can.
Along the way things will look pretty bleak and hopeless. It isn't an easy time for either of you and you may well need some sort of therapy to help you cope. It will be worth it, though, whatever the cost.
Learning how to fix that broken trust and how to stop a divorce could be the best move you've ever made!
You have so much to lose by not succeeding and so much to gain when you do!
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