Build A Good Communication Relationship By Empathic Listening - Part 2

Listening involves not only hearing the words but encouraging the speaker to discuss their concerns in detail

. Use facial expressions and body language to entice the speaker to fully express himself. Repeat in your own words what the speaker said and revalidate if you understand each other clearly. Take notice of their expressions and body movements. A twitch or covert glance can mean a great deal in a controversial discussion. There is no need to voice agreement with the speaker. Acknowledge that you are intently focused on the speaker and anxious to understand their concerns.

Allow the other party to dominate the discussion but control the tempo and provide equal time for everybody to speak in turn. Do not interrupt especially if the discussions are heated and highly emotional. An interruption might break the train of thought and the speaker might become more violent and unreasonable. Use open ended questions to solicit clarifications and further details on the subject matter. Be sensitive to the emotions being expressed. Try to serve as a mirror and a sounding board to the different parties.

Acknowledge the speakers and give them due respect and courtesy. Make it clear that they can speak to their hearts content on their different concerns and solicit as much valid information as possible to gain more knowledge on the issues. Explicitly tell everyone you dont intend to judge anyone and show them that you are there to help find a solution that will be acceptable to everyone a win-win resolution. Try to gain everyones cooperation and trust. Sharing of ideas and thoughts will facilitate solving any problems.

Extract as much detailed information as possible from everyone. The persons might not be directly involved in the discussions but their comments and remarks might have some bearing on the alternative resolutions to the problems. Be open-minded and accept suggestions and comments from everyone. You can filter it later and apply whatever may be meaningful and relevant to the discussions. Encourage them to continue speaking until they have exhausted all areas that concern them.

It is hard to retrace the discussion if someone suddenly remembers other matters which they failed to bring up in their initial talks. In addition, others may feel that these sudden remembrances might not be part of the issues but brought up in the light of discussions from other people. Dont discount their feelings and dont give any advice while the discussions are ongoing. Dont rehearse in your head what you are going to tell them later. You may lose track of the issues if you are not focused on the speaker.

Ask for examples if you need to understand the issues more clearly. Most importantly, gain the confidence and trust of the speaker. Make sure they dont hold back on their concerns and they dont hide anything from you. What they say might hurt you but it may be useful in establishing a fruitful resolution to the issues and it might help the speaker gain a proper perspective of the issues. Remember to be calm and objective in all your undertakings. Listening well takes a lot of time and effort. Learn the art of listening and move up to emphatic listening.

by: Think & Grow

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