Cheating Behavior And Prevention
There are those who have been guilty of being unfaithful and there are those who
have felt the sting of finding out that someone they cared for cheated on them. There are others who fear that their loved one may someday commit this act and there are yet others who fear they will one day be tempted into infidelity and will fail to resist.
Most people at one time or another have some dealings with infidelity during the course of their romantic life. Though it may be a removed as allowing a friend to cry on your shoulder, most people understand the pain that such an act can cause.
It is only natural that with so many people being close to the experience that the need to recognize the signs and to protect oneself as much as possible from this action would so often be brought up when discussing potential dating rules or advice.
Prevention:
It is important to remember, first and foremost that cheating seldom has to do with a partner lacking in some way intentionally. In many cases one would not recognize the infidelity warning signs for what they were until after it is too late simply because they did not seem sexual or romantic in nature.
Though by no means a certainty, the best defense against infidelity is to keep an open line of communication between you and your partner. Moving past the usual dating games that so many people play and into a safer place in your relationship where both you and your partner can share anything that may be causing trouble between you as a couple can be a wonderful way to prevent secrets.
Many of the most common dating questions include such advice on the subject of infidelity. Understanding how to spot a cheater before you enter into a serious relationship maybe useful, but the signs are not always apparent or in some cases even read accurately. It does stand to reason that a person who strikes you as inconsiderate or uncommonly self centered may be more likely to commit such a hurtful act, but there are no guarantees.
Some Potential Warning Signs to Watch for:
* Overly secretive behavior
* Ability to deceive without regret
* Difficulty restraining sexual urges
* Disrespectful to you or past partners
* Obsessive about sex in general
* Lack of interest in cultivating non-physical aspects of a relationship
* Reluctant to share events from time spent apart
One of the largest problems many people face with infidelity is that they didn't see it coming. Often one individual feels that the relationship is in excellent shape, while the other seeks comfort or reassurance through physical intimacy from an outside party.
Though only one member of the relationship is truly responsible for the affair, it is common for reasons to surface afterward in which both members might have prevented the event from taking place by simply communicating about problems.
The Action:
There are different types of infidelity that can take place, though in most the guilty party will do their best to keep their activity well hidden.
* Problem Dodging: In some cases a person may cheat because they are frustrated with their relationship and are for some reason unable to resolve their issues. This might apply to anything from a lack of physical attention to feeling unsupported emotionally.
* Sexual Addiction: Though any person who has experienced the pain of being cheated on may scoff at the notion, science has shown us that the chemical reactions involved in sex can cause some people to become for all intents and purposes, addicted. This in no way lessens the responsibility of commitment, but may help one to understand that the choice was not a malicious one.
* Commit phobic: Under certain conditions an individual may suddenly panic about the level of commitment in which they are involved and seek some way of breaking from it. If it is believed by the individual that an act of infidelity will serve as an end to their relationship and they feel incapable of ending it any other way, they may use it for this purpose. In such cases the act is not often well hidden, though oddly enough in many once found out a great percentage of those responsible become suddenly regretful.
* Gaining Control: Those who feel as though they have no freedom or control in their current relationships may seek out the comfort of another person who has little or no say in their daily life. Though this type of cheating often has little to do with sex, it is often a sign of some serious relationship issues.
The Result:
Possibly the most important single thing that anyone considering cheating on their partner should remember is that you could be endangering their life. Though it may seem extreme, it is this reason which not only makes an act of infidelity so incredibly serious, but possibly one of the reasons why it is so hurtful.
When you choose to have an intimate, physical experience with another person you take certain risks with your future and your health. If either during the time of or after your affair you should become intimate with your partner you are now threatening them with the same possibilities, without their consent or knowledge. For this reason alone, cheating is an inexcusable act when coupled with continued sexual activity in the relationship.
Make no mistake, many couples recover from an incident where one or both members are unfaithful, but to force your partner into a possibly life-threatening situation is a type of cruelty that would be difficult to ever forgive.
The emotional repercussions of infidelity can also be quite severe. In many cases both partners develop trust issues; one often due to guilt and the other simply because the trust they had was broken unexpectedly. Some individuals experience enormous difficulty in ever trusting another partner again as they, even if only secretly, prepare themselves for the same result to take place.
Another common development that stems from one partner cheating is the feeling of jealousy. This can occur in one or both partners and often stems from an overprotective need to prevent being hurt.
Concerns:
For those who might consider committing an act of infidelity it is important to consider the weight of your decision. Understand that throughout history, the seriousness of this act has been so noteworthy that people have killed, been put to death or even thought to be sent to eternal damnation for it in the afterlife.
Considering the many drawbacks for this small window of enjoyment one would hope that anyone who might think of committing such an act might take the time to simply reevaluate their life. IF your relationship needs work, work on it. If you have an addiction, seek help. Even if you can see no way to resolve your current issues with your partner, do them and yourself a favor, break it off before you hurt and possibly endanger the one who trusts that you might be the last person on earth they should expect it from.
by: Addison Kross
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