Cheating in a Relationship-Tips for Coping When You Find Out You Have Been Cheated On

Cheating in a Relationship-Tips for Coping When You Find Out You Have Been Cheated On

Cheating in a relationship begins with dishonesty. That is why the first tendency for the cheating partner is to begin to hide information when they start getting involved in an affair. For your marriage to survive an affair you need to learn how to be honest with your partner. A marriage built on dishonesty cannot thrive.

Here's a story that shows why honesty in marriage can help you survive cheating in a relationship.

Mary and John seemed to be a happy couple. In fact many people respected their commitment and love for each other. John was a well respected pastor in their church and Mary was the choir leader.

In every body's eyes, they were an exemplary couple. They were involved in pre-marital counseling in their church and most couples could only dream of being like them.

Until, John's affair was discovered.

Mary was devastated and shocked. How did this happen. How was she to face the congregation with this?

John had finally confessed his cheating to Mary and only both of them knew about it. But not for long. Soon everyone would know about the affair and they would have to live with the shame and disgrace that cheating in a relationship causes.

John and Mary were asked to see a counselor. During counseling sessions, John was reluctant to speak, but eventually, he did and this is what he said.

I don't love my wife. In fact I never have. I only married her out of obligation.I have lived every day since regretting my decision. I found a wonderful lady in the church and felt drawn to her. When I am with her I feel complete. I feel I made a mistake in marrying Mary.

Can you say shocking!

Mary and John had been married for over 15 years yet Mary had no idea that her husband felt this way about her. Because of the dishonesty on which the marriage was built, it was doomed to fail from the beginning.That is why honesty is essential to prevent cheating in a relationship.

Everything Mary had done in the last 15 years to make her husband happy had been kind of in vain. Whenever something went wrong, John would lay all the blame on his marrying Mary. If only I had married Jane, he would think to himself. I would be a better man.

Well with counseling, John and Mary were able to work on their marital issues. Mary was able to forgive her husband after overcoming the shock of his dishonesty and their marriage was salvaged. After several months of counseling, they were as in love as a newly wed couple and were sent off to continue counseling with their main pastor.

If you want your marriage to survive cheating in a relationship, you need to be completely honest with your spouse about how you feel, what you think, what you like or don't like, your personal history and habits, what you do daily and what you expect for the future.

It is important to be honest with your spouse so that they are not misinformed about you. If you are dishonest, your partner will not be aware of the problems you have and this will make finding solutions hard. Your partner can make proper adjustments once they know what to do.

Honesty in a relationship is also a way to keep you accountable to your spouse. If you set a code of transparency, it will help keep you from getting involved in questionable, thoughtless and harmful attitudes since you know you will need to tell your partner about your activities later.

Honesty with your spouse will help maintain closeness and compatibility in the relationship as you learn to revise and handle any conduct that may make you incompatible.

Want to survive cheating in a relationship? build a code of honesty.Honesty is truly the best policy. Whatever the situation, it will always be best to let your spouse know, rather than hide things from them in an attempt not to hurt them.

The longer you keep things from your spouse under the excuse of not wanting to hurt them, remember that nothing can stay hidden forever. Someone day your spouse will find out. Should they find out the wrong way, it will even be more devastating.

I suggest you do yourself and your marriage a favor and discuss hidden issues sooner than later. Then you can work on the issues and repair your marriage, making it even stronger.

NOTE: Don't use verbal abuse as a pretense to being honest. Think before you speak, mind the way you say things to your spouse, not with a tone or attitude that will hurt them but with a voice of concern.

I hope this advice helps you deal with cheating in a relationship.

If you have experienced cheating in a relationship click the link to find out four things you need in order to cope when you find that you have been cheated on. www.howcanyousaveyourmarriage.com

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