Confronting the Other Woman- Should You Do It?
So you've found out that there is another woman in your husband's life
. You're understandably devastated and you don't know what your next step should be. You've decided to find out more by confronting her. Before doing so, calm down and think about it. Confronting the other person can cut both ways sometimes it drives a wedge between a cheating spouse and his or her lover. And, sometimes it backfires and draws a cheating spouse and the other person closer together. How do you make the right decision? Here are some pros and cons to consider before making the decision whether or not to confront the other woman?
Reasons why you should confront her:
1. To find out what she has that you don't have. It may make you feel better when you realize that you've been putting her on a pedestal thinking your husband is cheating because she is a wonderful person. Upon meeting her you'll realize that she is just human and more importantly NOT any better than you.
2. To show them that you're not a pushover. .To show them both that you are stronger than they think, that you're not one to just sit around and let things happen. Show them that you are strong and you are a force to contend with. Your husband may see a strength in you that will surprise him.
3. It is your right because he is your husband. You feel that it is perfectly reasonable to confront the other woman, no matter the outcome. You have the right to ask her to leave your husband alone. After all, he is YOUR husband. If more people stood up to infidelity, there would probably be a lot less of it.
4. It will help you move forward. You will be able to see exactly what the situation is and will have more confidence to make the decision whether to divorce or hold your ground.
5. You don't want to condone the adultery-You feel that if you do not take this step, you would condone the adultery. After all, she deserves to listen to your anguish, since she has destroyed your marriage. You can vent all your raged, deceived, pent-up feelings, and regain some of your shattered self-esteem.
Reasons why you should not confront her:
1. A confrontation is potentially violatile- When all is said and done, there are many more bad things that can happen than good things in a confrontation that is as emotional and potentially volatile as this one. Being in the same place as the other woman, who has knowingly participated in this affair, is dangerous and upsetting on many levels. Avoid having any physical contact with her to prevent emotional and physical harm to you.
2. Don't stoop to her level-She has acted in a disrespectful brazen manner and is thus far below you. So, don't diminish your dignity. Confronting will probably be a waste of time because she most likely will not respect anything that you say, since to keep her self esteem, she has allowed herself to believe the hype that he tells her.
3. This will not restore order in your life It may make things more chaotic and increase the drama. Because you have invited the other woman in to discuss your marriage, confronting her may only increase her resolve. You will be confronting someone who has little regard for fairness.
4 The cheating was done by your husband- It would make no difference since your husband did the cheating and broke the vows. He was the one who made a promise, not her. You should confront your husband and he should work on himself.
4 Keep your power Don't fall apart and give her satisfaction. Concentrate on staying well, especially for your kids. Eventually you'll gain power and wisdom that will strengthen you. You'll empower yourself by making new boundaries and rules that are healthy.
5. You don't care what she thinks If you don't actually care what she thinks, don't do it. Confronting her gives her far more power than she deserves. She has her own version of events and you are likely to look like the woman who doesn't want to blame her husband so you blame her instead.
Make the decision
Upon examining the pros and cons I suggest ignoring her. At this point you need to focus on deciding if your relationship is worth saving or not, and planning for what ever you decide. There really is no benefit to having a showdown, because even if all goes well you will only feel good temporarily. You should realize that your husband is not a child who can't control himself and no one held a gun to his head, not even the other woman. Try to avoid doing anything that diminishes your dignity. She really is just not worth it.
To learn more about the author's primary business and the two men who taught her business skills visit her website at
http://www.theprosperitymall.com/?t=articlesbase .
Confronting the Other Woman- Should You Do It?
By: Audrey J Robinson Ph.D
Colors and Styles Are What Ladies Need Idea of Most Popular Gifts for a Woman You Need to Know Tips to Choose the Right Purses for Women's Fashion Diets For Women Make Your Woman Happy On Valentine's Day With Gift Suggestions Nourish Your Lips with Lip Plumper Bad Credit Loans for Wedding - Fiscal Support For Your Marriage Should You Blame the Other Woman When Your Husband Cheats? Do You Have to Forgive Your Wife for Cheating to Save Your Marriage? A Special Girl in My Life Techniques To Make My Penis Bigger How To Perform Cunnilingus That Will Drive Your Woman Wild How to Save and Keep Your Marriage Together Let the change begin with Lyriana