Dating Detonations
Dating Detonations
Dating Detonations
When we've been hurt in a relationship we often enter the world of dating armed and ready, explosives strapped to our belts. We have become conditioned to believe that being hurt is inevitable so rather than be blind sided we equip ourselves with all that is required to create a controlled explosion.
When we begin to date someone we strive to appear indifferent, and perhaps we are to the individual involved, yet if they don't text or call us we become anxious messes. We are desperate to feel desirable and validated by someone, sometimes it doesn't even matter who - as long as they are feeding the voracious appetite of our neediness.
Sometimes we have spent months working on feeling better about ourselves, and we really feel we've made progress and are complete . It's true we have made progress. We are now more aware of ourselves. We are living more consciously than before. Yet it's not until it's put to the test that we realise we still have a few more wounds to heal.
When faced with allowing someone to be close to us again our automatic defence system snaps in to place. We weren't even aware that we had one, yet we do and it's dam impressive! Not always helpful or constructive, but impressive all the same. This system is responsible for arming and equipping us. It provides us with incendiary devices which we are compelled to plant in our interactions with our unsuspecting dates.
These little time bombs are delivered in the form of things like feigned indifference, making it clear that we are not interested in anything serious, and the main arsenal is usually planted in the form of something like feel free to date others'.
Why do we behave this way? It's to maintain control. If we enter a relationship openly trusting and investing ourselves, we are vulnerable. The inevitable hurt is lurking like a spectre waiting to get us when we least expect it , and the results may once again be devastating. However if we enter in the style of an SAS training exercise we can carefully construct the disaster, and when our new beau's comply with our requests not to take things too seriously and they do see other people, we are already bunkered down and ready before the explosion occurs. We create the ultimate self fulfilling prophecy. Our old co dependant selves need to feel that control. Co dependency disregards the consequences of the outcome it simply drives us to be in control of what we anticipate the outcome to be and thereby create the feeling, however false, of being protected.
It's senseless isn't it.? So much emotional energy and precious time thrown in to relationships we are determined to detonate. A series of small explosives the preferred option over the risk of one very very large one.
Dating leads us to another level in our journey of self discovery, if allowed, it exposes the very core of us. There is nothing more terrifying than allowing someone near a recently reconstructed heart. The glue is still drying , the small vibrations caused by someone getting within even a wide radius may be enough to cause it to fall apart again. There is the key I think, the glue is not yet dry.
I think if we enter the dating world and start to feel these kind of behaviours kick in , that it is wise to pull back, if only for a while. It hasn't been a waste of time by any means, because we have learned something more about ourselves. If we are in this frame of mind, we are likely to attract the wrong kind of people. We are a void and voids exist to be filled, they are not known to be discerning. Once attracted, we will orchestrate incidents with them to generate some emotional pain for ourselves, in our quest to get them before they get us.................more
For rest of thisarticle go to: http://www.restartyourlife.info/?p=477
Tapestry Updating How to Get Dates With Women- Tips on How to Attract Women to You Easily Dating Tips for Short Guys- How to Attract Women No Matter What Size You Are Back Guy Dating Tips - Ways to Break Your Shyness Around Ladies BBW Dating - Find Thousands Of Huge Stunning Girls Dating After Fifty Dating For Folks Dating in Asia, On the Cheap! David DeAngelo Dating Book Review For Guys Adult Dating Is Becoming The Talk Of The Town The importance of updating your will regularly 10 Signs You're Dating The Wrong Woman Dating Multiple Women To Maximize Your Success
